


until it breaks [oikawa toru]

by e_nvchrno



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: F/M, haikyuu!! is so goddamn good
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2021-01-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:41:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 28,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27599069
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/e_nvchrno/pseuds/e_nvchrno
Summary: ✁・・・❝"You really mean that?" His lips were turned up into a tiny smile, as he held her tightly to his chest."Yes," she whispered, capturing his lips into a kiss that felt just right."Okay, then I'll start now with that honest thing. I've thought about what you said... I'm not going to break your heart. If anything, you'll probably be the one to break mine."He laughed - a mixture of nervous energy and excitement. It’s a sound she felt like she hadn’t heard in a thousand years and it’s a sound she would wait another thousand to hear. He leaned close, their breaths mingling. He kissed her again. Short and sweet. “I love you,” he told her, “I love you.”
Relationships: Oikawa Tooru/Original Female Character(s), Oikawa Tooru/Reader
Comments: 1
Kudos: 31





	1. prologue

_Sendai was quiet this time around._

Kids were on school holidays, adults were off work, and the streets were dead empty. 

The playground was covered in a thick blanket of white, slides peeked out under their new white caps, footsteps and paw prints crisscrossed each other around the labyrinth of paths. Aside from the brown of the denuded trees, the only other color was the vivid saffron staining around the base of each lamppost, tree and shrub.

Of course - most people packed their bags and headed out early the moment they heard a forecast for an ongoing winter storm. 

Good.

_It was probably the only time of the year where you couldn't hear cars honking, nor women greeting each other with irritatingly high pitched voices, nor vendors on the street jamming food in your face._

A young boy sat on the edge of his swing, using his shoe to scrape up a piece of wood stuck beneath layers of snow. His snow boots were a bit too heavy and the branch was a bit too thin. 

He grunted in frustration. 

A few kids around him glanced in his direction with confusion before going back to their ball game.

He huffed and turned away. He looked at his friend for encouragement.

To his dismay his friend had pulled up his hoodie in an attempt to seem like a complete stranger to the boy - obviously embarrassed by all the attention they were gaining from the neighborhood kids. 

"Keep it down and just eat your milk bread."

The boy opened his mouth to argue but sighed. 

_There was no winning with Iwaizumi anyways. He even came out first as a baby - just 1 second earlier._

When he inhaled, his lungs prickled with the chilliness of the air. The wind caused his hair to fall back onto his eyes, to which he grunted again - using inside voices this time. Inside his ski jacket, his gloved hands gripped the milk bun, wondering if he should eat or sweep his hair out of his face.

_It was too cold to do anything. Why did he come out again?_

He glanced at 5 other kids a few feet away from him and spotted a streak of silver in the midst of the snowfall. He watched in awe as she jumped to hit a ball in midair. 

_Ah right._

"Iwa-chan~," he managed to chattering teeth, "Didn't you say you'd help me out?" 

He mustered up his nicest smile. 

"Honestly, I'm just here to make fun of you, stupid," his friend replied, throwing him a glance, "Maybe try to manage a real smile this time."

"What?! It- It is- Come o- ... Okay, fine. You'll see! I'll be the first first grader to have a girlfriend!"

" _Crush_ " was such an infantile word, one that must have been invented by older folks, the ones with an interest in belittling young love. He hated it. He didn't have a crush on her, he loved her with the passion hotter than a thousand suns. 

She was the one. He knew it.

_Well, he hoped what he knew was true. He was 8 years old after all._

Or at least, as intensely as his little body and mind has ever felt.

She was all that was in his mind; maybe she was his true north. One day, he'd prove everyone (and Iwa-chan) wrong, he'd be with her and they'd run away together, maybe start a family of their own. Tomorrow, he'd find a way to talk to her, tell her how he felt, then he could finally stop hiding his emotions -

_No! You said that yesterday. And the day before that, and the day before that._

Shuddering, the boy heaved himself up and trudged through the snow, knowing that his friend's eyes were glued onto him. He couldn't fail now. 

_Oh god, what if he does?_

His heart hammered in his chest. Or was it the sound coming from the ball they were hitting?

_What were they playing anyways?_

He could see their faces a lot clearer now - a few of them went to his school, in his class even, but a few he didn't know. What caught him off guard was the girl with the silver hair, she wore--

One of them scrunched their hands into fists, making contact with the blue and yellow ball. 

"Ah, sorry!" He shouted.

The ball glided quick in the boy's direction - over his head, and without thinking his hands flew up. His eyes widened. His fingers captured the ball firmly and he tossed it back up in the air. 

"It's short!"

And the girl with the silver hair leaped into the air. With a sharp snap of her wrist, she sent the ball down towards the other side of the net. It dug itself deep in the snow.

At first there was nothing. 

Then, claps from her friends.

Then, all at once, there was anything and everything. 

Idea after idea, each one better than the last. Disorganised thoughts flooding his mind. And endless river, a waterfall. Filling his head with crazy and amazing thoughts.

It was like he was awake. 

More awake than ever before. 

He knew what he wanted to do.

"Hey, you're that kid that's always sitting at the swings! You're not a bad setter!" 

His train of thought was broken by a loud voice. He remembered the owner of the voice as someone who sat behind him in Maths class. 

"A-Always?! Only a couple times... My parents are always away, so...," he scratched the back of his head. His eyes traveled back to the silver haired girl. He thought it was the kind of brilliant white that made even the new snow look grey.

_She was stunning from afar, but up close --_

_And after that play --_

He felt his heart raising to this throat when she approached. He realised he's never felt this way with any other girl in his class before.

_Speaking of which, did this girl attend the same school?_

His cheeks flushed, and he prayed she couldn't tell. 

"I'm Nishikawa Akane," she grinned, "And that was a pretty good set up. Thank you."

She held a hand out, her other hand balancing the ball between her wrist and her hip.

"I've never really played this game before, but thanks!" He said, puffing his chest out as confidently as possible.

He shook her hand.

The others started to head off.

"Aka-chan, we're going to get some soup. Come join us in a bit!" One of the girls said.

Two of the boys chuckled and nudged each other as they followed her.

Akane smiled at them before turning back, "It's called volleyball, and I'm the spiker in our team. It's really fun!"

He couldn't stop stare at her bare arms. Her fingers twitched as she traced his eyes. 

Out of instinct, he quickly took off his big ski coat and draped it over her, nearly her knocking her over. 

"You must be cold," he said, exposing his plain tee shirt underneath.

She looked taken back. Red tinted her cheeks.

"T-Thanks! Your coat smells nice," she blurted out., "I... I mean - I-It just gets really warm when playing. B-But you should join us sometimes! You're really talented, I think... And you should bring your friend along too, maybe?"

 _Oh god, Akane, be cool,_ she thought to herself.

The boy felt a surge of frustration hearing his friends name. He turned back to glare at Iwaizumi, who still wasn't paying attention.

He shivered, realising that he had given away his coat and his milkbuns away.

"I... I think... Akane's a pretty name." He managed to say (a little too loudly). Her eyes widened in amusement and she giggled, a blush tinkering her cheeks. 

He found himself smiling. One that made his cheeks hurt a bit. He regained his confidence, some how. 

"Hey, what's the position called when you uh... you toss the ball? S-Setter?"

_Stop stuttering idiot. What's gotten into you?_

"Yeah, that's right... Uh... Your name is...?" she raised her eyebrows.

_Oh, right. Why am I like this?_

He had rehearsed so many things before approaching her - in the mirror, before he went to sleep, even when he was supposed to be doing his homework...

Still, he took a deep breath and managed to say, "I'm Oikawa Toru."

He cleared his throat, building up his courage. 

"A-And a few years from now, I'm going to be the best setter you've ever seen!" 

Her eyes lit up at the sound of that. A big smile graced her face, "Well, I'm going to be the best spiker you've ever seen!"

"I.... think you already are," he murmured. 

"What was that?" 

She heard that, of course.

When he stayed silent, she continued,

"Well. Then someday, maybe, we'll go to nationals together."

Three sentences rang clear in his mind that day. Three sentences he couldn't bring himself to say, just yet. Instead, he just nodded.

_1\. I want to see that spike again._

_2\. I want you to keep hitting my tosses._

_3\. I want to go to Nationals with you._


	2. reunion

Scrolling through the to-do list on her phone, Akane pressed her fingers to her temples as she read the last thing on her list.

_Aoba Johsai._

She shifted in her seat and checked the time again. 

12:47 P.M.

Her first day at a new school and she was already going to be late.

_Well, at least it'd only be for half a day._

Still, she literally just arrived in the Miyagi Prefecture this morning. 

_...Well, not really. She had visited multiple times as a kid. It was her mother's hometown after all._

It looked well different from the Kanto region. The city always buzzed with excitement. It was strange, being here again after so long. Despite how long she'd been away, she still remembered everything about the place; the blue hydrangeas planted in her front yard, the soft tinkling of the wind chimes that reminded her of summer afternoons. 

_They were back._

_But with the divorce ..._

_And how her parents ended -_

Akane shook her head, ridding off the bad memories that had compiled in her mind. She glanced at her mother, who looked as calm and poised as always. She didn't quite understand how the woman stayed so composed in the midst of such a nasty situation. 

Actually, no. She looked too composed. 

Ever since they signed divorce papers, she's always seemed to have some sort of faraway look in her eyes. It resembled someone who was attending a six hour orchestra, or perhaps watching a ballet at the Opera.

_Her father wasn't here anymore. She had to be there for her mother now._

"You know mum, I could stay home and help you unpack," Akane suggested earnestly. 

Her mother shook her head, "Darling, I want you catching up with all the school work. You've missed one third of your classes because of us. Sciences are important if you want to become a doctor."

_Right._

"Don't be nervous, you always underestimate yourself," her mother smiled. 

The car halted to a stop. Akane grabbed her bag and hopped out of the car. 

"Oh, right! Mum, after school, I'm going to ask about volleyball try outs, so I'll walk home."

She watched the car drive off and turned to the gates of her new school.

Crap, she arrived at lunch time. The halls were swarmed with students.

_Oh god, okay._

The school bell had rung not too long ago, and students piled out of their classrooms, hustling and bustling down the corridors. Friends are greeting each other with a hug or a playful punch while others engaged in a calm conversation. The seniors stood, tall and proud, confidence born of experience. Everybody was running everywhere except an occasional slowcoach or chatterbox.

Akane could feel eyes on her. Their whispers were anything but discreet.

"Go, talk to her!" 

She could hear a boy say to his friend.

_Oh no. Please don't._

Akane fixed her eyes on her timetable, only occasionally tilting her head up to check the class room labels. 

The office. The office.

_A-ha!_

-

Akane fidgeted with her fingers as she heard her homeroom teacher settling down the chatter in his class. She double checked all the buttons on her uniform are in the correct order.

"Shut up, heart," she mumbled. 

_It's fine. It's just new people._

The door to the classroom was jarred open and out poked the face of her teacher. 

Now people say that beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but as Akane held her head high with limited confidence, she could see surprise register in her new classmates' faces. One step in and promptly, compliments were whispered inbetween friends, girls waved to her and boys nudged each other.

"I'm Nishikawa Akane, but call me Akane, I look forward to getting to know you! My hobbies include reading, playing volleyball and basketball." 

"Right, please welcome her warmly, everyone," the teacher announced, "Nishikawa, welcome to class 11-1. Take the empty seat the back please."

Her eyes roamed the class room and landed on a boy with messy brown hair. Their eyes met. She could've sworn she's seen him before.

He did a double take before standing quickly, knocking over his seat in process. His ears perked at the mention of 'volleyball'.

"Oikawa-" The teacher started, but the boy cut him off.

"You!" 

Akane stepped back, startled when he jabbed his finger at her. 

"Huh? Me?" Her eyes gleamed with newfound wonder as it hit her, "Oh.. Oh?... OH, wait, you! Wait... T-Toru?" 

Memories came back to her like a great rush of water. And maybe it was the heartbreak of leaving Tokyo, or her dad leaving her mum, or the fact that she had broken up with her boyfriend recently, but she could feel her eyes sting and her chest tighten. 

She gritted her teeth. _No, Akane, you are NOT going to cry on the first day of school. Get it together._

"You're Akane-chan!" He sputtered out. It was like he was caught in a trance.

Her eyes were sharper than ever.

"She literally just said that, stupid," The boy with the spiky black hair said.

"Shut up, Iwa-chan! She-She's-"

"Akane! It's been a while," Iwaizumi's eyes lit up when he took a good look at her.

Akane nodded in response. Her throat felt tight but she managed to choke out, "Iwa-kun? Wow, wait... I didn't know you guys went to Seijoh. I ... I would've contacted you earlier." 

"Oh man, this is bringing back some memories. Oi, Oikawa, look it's your childhood crush!" Iwaizumi said.

"Iwa-chan-"

Oikawa stopped when he saw her smile, and he could've sworn her cheeks were a deeper shade of red than it was before. He smirked. 

"It's been a while, Toru," she smiled.

Her voice sent chills down Oikawa’s spine; he hadn’t expected her to sound so poised, so calm.

She remembered him vividly and all the memories she had from 5 years ago came flooding back. He seemed to have changed, in a way. His tousled brown hair was the same as always, but his features were sharper, more defined. He was much taller than her now. He had a newfound aura of confidence.

She could still see hints of that infamous playful smile on his face. 

"Three of you can continue your chitter chatter after class. Please sit down and let's get on with the lesson," Their homeroom teacher said sternly.

"Yes, sir!"

Akane took her seat. Some girls turned to look and whisper. Oikawa's eyes were still on her. 

_Did she even remember?_

His mind wandered to the last time they had ever spoken. He flinched. _How was it that just a thought could bring long buried emotions and stir what was settled?_

He wasn't ready to cast this scene to memory just yet. He wanted it to be his present for a while longer, to fill his senses. Then, maybe he could change the events of that day.

Just a little longer. Please.


	3. i expected nothing less

There were so many things he wanted to ask her from the get go. Questions like _where have you been all this time? Have you been playing volleyball all this time? Do you remember our last conversation? How could you leave without saying a proper good-bye?_

Instead, he held his tongue as he led her to the volleyball courts, afraid she would be freaked out. He filed the memory aside.

Stepping into the volleyball courts that afternoon, the first thing anyone heard was, 

"Oikawa-san, is this your new girlfriend? Didn't your ex just dump you?"

Everyone turned to look.

"No, dude, I heard he declared his love for her in class today," someone else said. 

_What?!_

Akane and Oikawa exchanged a glance before she bursted out into laughter, and he spoke,

"No! What're you guys talking about...?! I was just startled to see her, that's all!" He tried to defend himself.

Akane laughed. She turned to Oikawa, who obviously had taken the comment as a compliment.

"Seems like someone's become a player?" She arched a brow.

"Hmmm... Am I though? Or maybe I just haven't found anyone yet," he mused. 

_Oh? Definitely a player._

"Or maybe you've always been a player?" Akane hinted playfully.

He'd changed. He was lot more sure of himself and a lot better now, she presumed. Excitement bubbled inside of her as she stretched, itching to see how far he's gotten. She caught his sly glances once in a while, and he'd shoot her a knowing smile. 

_The best setter I've ever seen, huh?_

Akane was devastated when he explained the absence of a girls' volleyball team, but she decided it shouldn't stop her from practicing at all. 

Oikawa couldn't stop himself from glancing not-so-subtly in her direction. She was still as charming as he remembered. His eyes twitched as he saw three guys approach her for a friendly conversation. One of them was Iwaizumi.

"You're the Ace?! No way!" He heard her say. She introduced herself to the rest of the group.

_Oh, no, not again._

Oikawa remembered his jealousy. They seemed to get along better at times, those two. Then, they'd poke fun at him (lovingly, he hoped). He remembered how they trained together even in the harshest winter days and the most blinding summer days.

Their games were their childhood - volleyball, hopscotch and the hide 'n' seek. There were so many variations of each game and all of them kept them running about all day long. They would climb trees, build damns in woodland streams and catch crabs at the seaside. There were games with rhymes, skipping and "cat's cradle." They played games of lyrics and clapping, games of dance, games of building structures. They were busy, they were together with friends and they learned how to get along. Isn't that what it's all about?

_So why did she leave so suddenly?_

_Before he even got to say goodbye?_

He saw the rest of the team crowd around her and instinctively, he cut in. 

"Hey everyone! Let's all get icecream after school today! My treat~" 

But before anyone could answer he added, "Also! Akane-chan is my childhood friend, so don't try anything stupid, okay?"

Immediately, all the boys paled at the sound of that. Oikawa had said that in a sing-song voice, but there was something just a little bit threatening about the way he said it. 

Akane and Iwaizumi snorted.

"Oi! You guys--"

"Nishikawa, are you sure you'd like to practice with us? the coach cut in, "One of our players just quit, so it would be great... But I'm warning you, it can get intense."

Akane grinned, "All good, coach! My position is Wing Spiker, by the way."

"So is Makki!" Oikawa said, pointing at one of his teammates. 

"Ah- Right. I'm Takahiro Hanamaki, looking forward to playing with you."

Akane saw a bored looking player approach her. She re-introduced herself. She had never played in an all boys team before, but they seemed to be a pretty strong team.

"Makki?" She questioned. 

"Yeah... Oikawa-san gives everyone on his team a nickname, for some reason..." He muttered. 

_Ah, typical Toru._

Akane clapper he hands together, "May I call you that too then?"

"I- I guess. Yeah, sure," he looked taken back but not unsatisfied. Akane took that as a green light.

"Don't worry, coach! I used to play with the Ace and the Setter of your team!" She coughed inbetween her next words, "I used to teach them."

"Is that so?" The coach looked amused, turning towards the two players.

"Oh yeah... She's right. If anyone should be on our team, it's her," Iwaizumi held a thumbs up.

"Iwa-chan, why can't you be nice and supportive like that to me?" Oikawa butted in - to which he received a smack on the head from his teammate. 

"Because you're already so full of yourself, stupid! I'm not going to fuel up your ego." 

Akane laughed at their act, "They haven't changed at all." 

And for a moment, she forgot about the divorce, her mother's sadness and her home in the Kanto region, and all she could remember was the three of them laughing uproariously at the most frivolent matters. The kind of laughter that she could feel in her lungs, so hard that it took her breath away. The lack of oxygen didn't matter. All the anguish of whatever it was melted like snowballs in a microwave. A blessed relief from all the distress that shoved its way into her brain.

\- 

After warmups, Akane faced Oikawa on the other set of the net. They were both in the front line. 

She re-introduced herself to a few people on her side - Yahaba, a second year setter, Matsukawa, a third year middle blocker and Kindaichi, a first year middle blocker, who frankly... looked somewhat resembled the head of an onion.

Oikawa was a little disappointed they weren't on the same team. _How could he show her how much better he is now?_

"Don't frown now, Oikawa. You'll be on the same side of the net eventually. Just be patient," the coach chuckled, as if reading his mind.

Oikawa knew why the coach had done this. He needed to see her play before gauging out what kind of tosses she liked.

"I won't lose," Akane said. 

"I won't either," Oikawa replied. 

"And if you do?" She challenged.

"I won't." 

"But if you do?"

"I won't."

"But _if_ you do?"

He smirked, "I'll buy you dinner."

"You would've anyways, loss or not," she replied. Her heart beat furiously in her chest as she did. 

"True," he smiled cheekily.

The whistle blew. 

"Nice serve, Matsukawa!" 

It was as if he had tried to aim it at her - a powerful serve, but she managed to dig it up into the air. 

"Wow, nice, Nishikawa-senpai!"

_Come on, give me the ball._

But she didn't get to spike it down this time, nor the next time. She was getting a bit frustrated. 

Making eye contact with Yahaba, she nodded firmly at him.

_Give me the ball. Please._

He nodded, a little hesitant.

The score board was 4-3, in her team's favor, but she found herself curious at the way Oikawa orchestrates his team. 

Every single toss had been different - no, tailored to each of his teammate - and despite being teased constantly, he was one of the best setters she'd ever seen. So far consistent with his good deliveries, she was getting more and more impressed. Not to mention his insane serves...

"A-Ah, also everyone, before I forget... Please just call me Akane! No need for such formalities!" She said, "Just Akane, okay? No senpai, or Nishikawa-san!"

The whistle blew.

"Nice serve, Kindaichi!"

The other team picked the ball with ease, the libero passing the ball to Oikawa. Two of the players had started to run towards the net, in a position to jump - and yet -

Oikawa leapt into the air, hands in position to set before swiftly letting his left hand slap the ball gently. 

Akane's eyes widened.

_Setter dump._

_He was skillful. But...!_

She thrashed her foot out willfully, without thought. It made contact with the ball, sending it up back into the air.

_Thank goodness she had stretched before the game._

Akane heard the flabbergasted gasps from both sides of the net, followed by cheers from her team members. 

Yahaba tossed the ball to Makki, who swung his arm powerfully to spike.

_Ah, crap. Blocked out._

As the other team prepared to serve, Akane beckoned towards her team mates.

"Hey everyone, come here for a second," Akane called, "I'm 98% positive that Toru is going to do a spike next, so watch out for that."

"How do you know?" Makki asked.

"I... just do. When we were kids, he would do these moves from the get-go when he was trying to show off," she whispered, earning a few chuckles from them.

"O-oh, Akane-senpai- Ah - I mean Akane-san... If you don't mind me asking... which school did you transfer from?" Kindachi asked as they got back into their respective positions.

"Oh, Fukurodani Academy."

"T-Th-That's a powerhouse school, isn't it? In Tokyo?" 

She nodded, scratching her head inquisitively, "Powerhouse school, huh? ... I guess? We do have some strong players."

Makki whispered, "Don't worry. He stutters around Oikawa too. I think it's cause the two of you give off the same vibe."

Akane's eyes widened, "I-Is that bad? Is he scared of us or something?" 

"No, I think it's more respect than fear," he answered. 

The whistle blew.

Iwaizumi's serve.

Three hits and her team spiked it over the net - Only for it to be picked up again by the libero.

Oikawa's hands were positioned in way a typical setter would, but Akane watched closely for the moment he would make a jump.

_Now!_

Akane threw a glance at her teammates before Oikawa took into the air and slammed the ball into their court.

Matsukawa lunged forward, anticipating the spike, yet still barely caught up. Makki exchanged a quick look with Akane, surprised at her, amazed at how well she was able to predict their Captain's movements.

"What?!" Oikawa groaned disbelievingly. 

"Idiot! Of course she knew what was coming, you show-off," Iwaizumi retorted back. 

The ball went to Yahaba next. He looked at Akane momentarily.

"Akane-san!"

 _Yes!_  
  
He gave a standard toss - adequately high, positioned well relative to where she was. 

With a single movement, she got into position, scanned the court on the other side, took one last look at the ball, and jumped. With full force, her hand made contact with the ball, slamming straight down, right under the net on the other side. 

That play was quite unbelievable, shocking that a 5'5 petite girl had the strength of an Ace. 

"What ... was that?" Makki said incredulously. 

"Holy shit! Where did you learn that?! Coach, did you see that?" Iwaizumi exclaimed.

The coach nodded, well-pleased at what he saw. That was no ordinary straight spike. It couldn't have been a lucky hit either. 

Akane saw the shock register on Oikawa's face before he could hide it. A small smile played on her lips. 

Hours and hours of practice of straight spikes at her old school really did pay off.

"I ..." Oikawa trailed off. 

"I...?" Akane cocked a brow playfully.

There was a moment where his face washed blank with confusion, like his brain cogs couldn't turn fast enough to take in the information from his wide eyes. Every muscle of her body just froze before a grin crept onto his face, it soon stretched from one side to the other showing every single tooth. 

"I expected nothing less. Maybe I'll have to watch out for my position?" He joked.

Akane was about to reply when he continued, jabbing his thumb at his chest,

" _'I can't believe I'm on the same team as Toru. I've never had that much fun playing volleyball before!'_ \- That's how I'm going to make you feel when we're on the same side of the net. I'll give you the best toss you've ever seen."


	4. pancakes and shiratorizawa

Akane awoke to the sound of girlish squeals and high pitched shrieks. Her eyebrows furrowed together in annoyance as pushed her head up from the table, greeted by the beaming sun from the classroom windows. 

_Did I really fall asleep on the second day of school? Jeez._

The school bell rang and Akane sprung up to her seat, stomach growling as she thought about her chicken katsu bento.

As she walked back to her seat, she found a group of girls crowding around her desk, eyes gleaming with excitement as she plopped back down.

"Hi?" She tried.

"Akane-chan, we want to know more about you!" One of the girls exclaimed. Her braids gave her face a somewhat kid-like look. 

And before Akane could reply, she was bombarded with questions. Her stomach growled in frustration, begging to be fed. 

"How do you know Oikawa-san?"

_Oh god, she was not answering this._

"Do you have a crush on him?"

_It seemed to be more of an interrogation rather than a 'get-to-know-you' session._

She glanced quickly to her left, wondering if Oikawa was listening to this nonsense, but was surprised to find him with his head on his arms and tilted away from her. 

"So which school did you go to before, Akane-chan?"

_Okay, this one, she could answer._

"Well, I went to Fukurodani Academy. I was in the Kanto region before I moved, I-"

"Oh! I've got a good question. Do you have a boyfriend?" 

Their gazes were sharp on her.

"Yeah do you?!"

The girls looked at her with burning intensity and Akane cleared her throat,

"Well!" She stammered, brightening up as red as a beet, "I _did_. We broke up because I moved here."

"Oh, no, I'm sorry,... Tell me more about him," one of the girls said, "Or wait! Show us a picture!"

Akane inched away from them. Her stomach dropped at the thought of _him_. They were good together. 

"Okay, um, he went to Fukurodani as well... He was a setter in the volleyball team, and he was one of best people I've ever met... He's also a really amazing setter," Akane trailed off, not knowing what else to say. Her heart felt a little heavier than it was before and her head felt a little bit more clouded than usual.

"Do you miss him?" 

"I-"

"Wait - Is he even better than Oikawa-san?! No way." One of the girls asked, shocked. 

"Even better than me?" 

Akane's head turned when she heard his voice. 

_How long had he been listening for?_

"I don't know, I think you're both great," she replied honestly. 

"Hi, Oikawa-san! How was your day?" One of the girls said excitedly.

Oikawa had a small smile on his face, but inside he was itching to grab his phone, turn on full stalker mode and search the hell out of this Fukurodani setter boy. His fingers twitched.

Akane saw how the girls were looking with Oikawa. They practically had heart eyes as the oggled at him. An idea popping up in her head, she shot Oikawa a small smirk and he arched a brow questioningly in response.

"Toru, where's that dinner you promised me yesterday?" 

At the sound of that, the girls heads turned towards her menacingly. They scowled, gaping at her.

Oikawa thought perhaps this would be a good opportunity to ask her about ... well, everything he's wanted to. And that setter she was talking about. 

"We'll go after school." He flashed her a big smile. 

\----

"-And you could ask them to put sprinkles on them too, and also whipped cream .. '

Akane watched as Oikawa babbled on about his favorite dessert place in town. When he mentioned breakfast food for dinner, she was delighted. Looking around, she remembered the road they were on. 

She was always here in the winter holidays. 

Sendai was her mother's hometown, but it seemed like whenever they were there, her parents would fight about the most trivial things. Her father lived in Tokyo - hence, why she attended Fukurodani.

But ever since the divorce, her mother had decided to bring her back permanently. 

Akane looked over at Oikawa, who was still going on about milk buns, icecream and pancakes.

She was often over his house when they were kids. It was a place to hide and they knew it, but not once was she ever made to feel unwelcome or hurried out the door. It was a safe haven when the first storm her parents' created invaded her own home, her own space.

It was hell every day and home just rocked back and forth between comfort and harmful. Without him, without the care he gave in that understated way, without the gentleness of his personality, she wouldn't know what would have happened.

Yes, she played volleyball a lot. Her parents taught her the basics, but she had accumulated all her strengths on her own.

She was never stable, not really, shifting from one place to another in her primary years, but always there was him. She came to Sendai for the first time at 6 years old. At 8, she met him. At 14, that was the last time she ever saw him.

"Hey, are you okay?" Oikawa asked, stopping in his tracks. 

Akane snapped back to reality, realising that she had zoned out completely.

"Sorry, sorry! Yeah, I'm okay," she smiled.

The tiny café huddled despondent among the other buildings. Washed out under the overcast sky, it hunched in itself. It was a hot night tonight, no breeze. 

Unlike the outside, the door of the cafe was colder, and cheerier, with bright lights and colorful walls. Its royal blue paint glistened in the silvery rays of the night.

"Toru-kun, you're back!" An old lady greeted from behind the counter. Oikawa waved, a sweet smile on his face. 

"Yep! This is Akane-chan, my childhood friend. She was supposed to buy me dinner because she lost a match, but I've decided to be nice, " he said. 

"Oi!" Akane gave Oikawa a light punch on the arm.

The old woman chuckled, "Akane-chan, welcome! Toru-kun, the usual?" 

Oikawa nodded. The both of them took their seats in one of the corner booths. 

"I take it you're a regular?" Akane asked, all smiles. Happiness really does spread. That old lady was so warm.

"Yup! Are you impressed? Not only am I a regular at Aoba Johsai, but also at a few dessert cafes in town," he held up a peace sign, seemingly satisfied at himself. 

"Oh, yes, very, very impressed," Akane drawled, "Please teach me your ways, senpai."

Oikawa bursted out laughing before his face turned serious. 

So,” he began. _Where should I start?_ he thought. 

_Why did you move to Seijoh in the middle of term? How did you practice volleyball? Were you the Ace? Was there a time you wanted to quit? Do you want to be my girlfriend?_

His last memory of her lingered bitterly at the back of his mind still.

"So tell me about that setter at Fukurodani," he said hastily. 

_Oh, good job, stupid, you couldn't have made it more obvious._ He gave himself an internal smack on the head.

Akane laughed softly, "Very direct. Do you want pointers? You're already very good, but I doubt you need me to tell you that."

"Huh? No! Well, thanks, but I ... I'm curious to know what kind of boys you're into."

"So you could be my wing man?" She asked, a sly smile on her face. 

"No! Akane-chan..." Oikawa whined, ruffling his hair in mock frustration. 

"How good of a setter?"

"Wait, no, just tell me his name."

"Is he really a better setter than me?"

"Do you still talk to him? What's he like?"

"Okay, okay, give me the first letter of his first name."

Akane's laughed, "You're starting to sound like your fan girls!"

As rational as Oikawa thought he was, he was the type to quickly jump to conclusions. Although the last thing he wanted to do was doubt her. Still, he couldn't help himself.

"Is he tall?"

"...Is he taller than me?"

"Is he a delinquent? Does he get good grades?"

She smiled cheekily, but she knew Oikawa wouldn't stop until she yielded.

"Fine!" 

He paused, looking at her expectantly.

"Tell me!" He urged.

"Fine! His name is Akaashi Keiji," she sighed, finally giving in. 

"Oh! Him ..." Oikawa looked very preoccupied as he scrolled through his phone. He didn't even look up as the waitress placed a fat stack of pancakes down on their table.

His stomach sank as he realised Fukurodani Academy had made it to Nationals the last two years. He bit his lip to stop himself from cursing Ushiwaka's name.

"Alright, your turn. Why are you Mr. Popular in school? Don't tell me you go breaking girls' hearts."

Oikawa put down his phone, bringing his attention to the present.

"I do no such thing," he denied. His quirky little smile was still plastered on his face, indicating otherwise.

"Sure, sure," Akane rolled her eyes playfully. Ever since they were kids, Oikawa was always blessed with good looks. His personality further showcased them. Everyone loved him. Girls, especially.

As she took her first bite, Oikawa looked at her with anticipation.

_Would it be a deal breaker if she didn't like this place?_

"Oh! These are probably the best pancakes I've ever had," she praised, cutting more of them into little slices.

_Oh, thank god._

Oikawa let out a breath of air. 

"I'm actually torn between wanting to savour it or inhale it," she mumbled to herself. 

She spread butter over the slice and sprinkled pushed some sprinkles on top. 

"Do you want some?" She offered him a slice, pushing the fork to his lips. 

He ate some, feeling the warmth of the pancake mix perfectly with the milky sweetness of the ice-cream.

"So good," he said with his mouth full. 

The rest of the night was spent talking about volleyball and the like - Oikawa telling her about his practices, Iwaizumi's constant bullying, his junior Kageyama who he was in a face-off with last year (and won - as he emphasized many times), the strengths and weaknesses of his team mates, his arch nemesis at Shiratorizawa. She would provide her input from time to time, to which he valued highly.

As she spoke, he could see her spark glow a little brighter, her face more relaxed, a smidge more joy in her eyes, as they talked about something they loved.

Oikawa could see her brows furrow in concentration as she listened and he felt a burst of happiness. It was 11 o'clock and the cafe was closing soon, but he didn't want to leave. 

His ex girlfriend broke up with him because he was "too obsessed" with volleyball, his ex before that broke up with him because he made "too much" time for volleyball - but right here, right now, at this moment, as they chatted, he's never felt more liberated, and he's never felt more comfortable. 

His mind drifted, thinking back to when they were children. She was more shy and reserved back then. But that wasn't saying a lot - she was always the type to speak her mind. With cheeks that always seemed flushed and silver that did a lively dance when she ran.

He knew from the moment he met her that he had met his match. From the moment he first laid eyes on her, and the moment where she stood up for her friends, and the moment where she made snow angels, and the moment after that, and the moment after that.

A little different she was now. All the softness of a child replaced by sharp edges and fierceness. But a bit of softness does remain. Right here on her lips. The tender curve to her smile -

"Earth to Toru," she snapped her fingers in front of his face.

Oikawa jumped, startled. 

_Crap, had he been staring?_

If only she knew how simply taken he was with her.

_No, no, no, it was too early to say anything._

_How could he feel this way though?_

_He hadn't seen her in 5 years. He wasn't one to simply trust his heart. Logic was always of importance to him._

"I was just mesmerised by you," he blurted out.

And for a second, he wanted to slap a hand to his mouth - but he remembered that it was his honesty and ability to flirt with confidence were two of the things that attracted girls to him. He's pulled this line multiple times.

Yet to his dismay, Akane rolled her eyes and started to shake with laughter, "Bullshit, you flirt! You were day dreaming. No wonder all those girls fall at your feet!"

_What?! The only time he had ever meant it, and she didn't believe him._

Her reply made him tense. _Was this the right moment to bring it up? What if she doesn't remember? Why bring up a sour memory?_

He took a deep breath, casting his apology to the back of his mind.

"T-They don't fall at my feet...! ... Anyways, what were you saying?" He asked, clearing his thoughts.

She seemed unfazed. She took a sip of water before replying, "I was just saying... How could would it be if we could play on the same team? So instead of ' _I'll beat you'_ , it'll be ' _We'll beat them_ '."

Oikawa tapped his chin, swirling around the water in his cup. It wasn't a bad idea. He wanted her to hit his tosses so bad.

He chuckled at the thought, "You mean like Mulan?"

"Exactly like Mulan, but maybe instead of cutting my hair, I'll wear a wig, bandage up my chest..." 

"...Wear guys' uniforms, actually join the volleyball team..." Oikawa continued.

"I'll help you guys win the Spring Play-offs against Shiratorizawa..."

"Finally beat that bastard Ushiwaka..." 

And something clicked in Akane's head.

Oikawa saw her bite the edge of her smile, and he remember she used to do that when she had a funny idea in her head, a vain attempt to keep her creeping grin at bay. 

"Let's actually do it. Let's play together again," she declared. 

For a second, she thought he was going to refute her idea, but Akane could see the corners of Oikawa's lips fighting a smile, his eyebrows slightly raised.

"Well, we'd have to talk to Iwa-kun and the Coach, I imagine. But til' then... Are you in?"

"I'm in."


	5. success

Oikawa and Akane waited precisely 2 weeks to bring it up with the coach.

Whenever they would gather the courage to, something inevitably gets in the way - may it be a player wailing about his sprained ankle, fangirls showering Oikawa with gifts, or simply because they ran out of confidence.

They had let Iwaizumi in on their plan, to which he shouted - "Are you two crazy?! You're going to get found out in a second!"

Then they had tried to come up with brilliant pitches they could deliver to the coach -

"What about we start with a compliment, then proceed with a question," Iwaizumi suggested, "Coach, you look especially dashing today. P.S. Do you think I look like a man?"

Akane and Oikawa had doubled up with laughter, clutching their sides as they struggled to breathe.

"N-No! Why would you ever start with that?" Akane asked in between laughs.

"Iwa-chan, that's a terrible idea," Oikawa added.

"Shut up! It was better than your idea, Akane - you wanted to bribe him! And you idiot, Oikawa! You wanted to set him up on a date! I'm sure he's married!"

That only made them roar louder with laughter, and Iwaizumi eventually shook his head and gave him. God, they were a stupid bunch.

But today was the day. After this set. After this practice match.

For sure.

Oikawa never had trouble reading his teammates' reactions. It was something that came as a second nature to him; vicariously learning through the way the ball hits his spikers hands and the reaction that came afterwards.

Hence why he thought their connection would make things 10x easier for him.

 _'I'll give you the best toss you've ever seen'_ , huh?

He cringed at the memory.

Yet here they were, finally on the same side of the net, and he was unable to read her movements. Not in the slightest.

He didn't know what was more appalling - the fact that he couldn't tell where her optimum spiking point was or the fact that she probably doesn't has multiple ...

She called for the ball, but his brain stuttered for a moment and every part of him went on pause while his thoughts caught up. 

She hit the ball effortlessly, slamming it down.

"Oikawa, do you need a time out?" The coach asked.

"No, I'm alright... I'm alright," Oikawa insisted, trying to sort his thoughts.

His usefulness on the court was ruled by his ability to bring out each of his team members' ability up to 100% - maybe more. 

He snapped out of his thoughts when he felt a warm hand on shoulder. 

"I know what you're thinking," she started, " _'Why can't I pinpoint a location and why can't I figure her out? She's hitting everything the same way'_... Right?"

Oikawa's mouth hung open, "How-"

"I have a secret~," she cupped her hand to his ear and whispered. 

"What secret? Tell me!" He inched closer.

"I can't! Where's the fun in that?" 

She had a frivolous glint in her eyes as she spoke. 

"I promise, you'll find so much satisfaction in figuring it out on your own," she beamed.

Oikawa turned to his team inquisitively , "Have any of you guys noticed anything?" 

Makki raised his hand slowly, followed by Kindaichi and Iwaizumi. 

"Whaaat? Even Iwa-chan noticed, and I didn't?!"

Iwaizumi's eye twitched, "Oi! What's that supposed to mean?"

"Kindaichi! Do you want to tell your upperclassman what you found?" Oikawa smile was sickly sweet, yet with hints of a guileful feat.

"Yes, sir! Well, Akane-san is usually right hande-"

"Ah-ah-ah!" Akane interrupted, waving her finger around disapprovingly, "Kindaichi, listen to your upperclassman when she tells you no."

Kindaichi's face paled and he nodded fevereshly, mumbling apologies to both his seniors. 

_Oh no, another Oikawa._

That seemed to be what the entire team was thinking. 

A light bulb ignited in Oikawa's brain, the inkiness fading away and replaced with a surge of new idea.

_Alright, here we go._

Oikawa felt the weight of the ball in his hands, eyes darted towards her to see if she was ready. He put a little more power in the toss, making sure it held a constant angle and stayed at its peak point for just 2.33 seconds longer.

A blur of color as she sprinted just behind the attack line and sprung up. As soon as she saw the ball, she grinned, eyes twinkling as she watched it travel just a tad past her line of sight - and then she swat it down forcefully.

"Yes!" Oikawa yelled, pumping his fists in the air.

"We did it!" Akane said at the same time, energy coarsing through her entire body. Her hand pulsed, still feeling the convulsing reminiscence of the ball against her palm.

That was conceivably one of the best - if not, the best - toss she had ever gotten. 

"Finally," Iwaizumi huffed. 

He knew full well that Oikawa was not the type to get flustered over a girl. He gave his two childhood friends a brief look as they shared a high-ten. 

_She wasn't just any girl though._

"See, what did I tell you?" Akane rested a hand on her hip.

"Ah, damn it, I can't believe it took me so long to figure it out! You use your non-dominant hand - your left hand - to spike," Oikawa cried out, throwing his hands in frustration. 

"Correct!"

"Thought you'd be the first to notice," Matsukawa said.

"But... How long did it take for you to... Hm... That's something we can definitely whip out in tournaments," Oikawa tapped his chin thoughtfully. He didn't bother concealing his awe-stricken tone or his amazement. No - amazement doesn't quite cover it. 

And straight away, he wondered if Fukurodani setter Akaashi Keji could do that. Then afterwards, he remembered how that bastard Ushiwaka was also a leftie spiker. He felt unmistakable anger bubbling up at the thought of him. Oikawa took a deep breath and focused on the match. It was hard to swallow feelings. It was harder to swallow pride.

_Right, in their first match, she had used her left hand - if his memory served him well. How did he not notice?_

"Years and years, but I had good mentors," she flashed him a smile, jutting out a thumbs up, "And don't say whip out - it has a double entendre."

Oikawa's face went beet red at the sound of that.

The scoreboard racked up points quickly, almost like it was urging Aoba Johsai's three players to hurry and get on with their plan.

"Alright guys, follow my lead," Akane took a deep breath and led the way. They all looked deep in thought.

The coach turned to them, puzzled at the way they were inching towards him, "Are you guys okay? Practice is over - Go home and get some rest."

"W-Well... I - I was wondering-" Akane gulped.

Oikawa sensed her panic and placed himself inbetween them, "Coach, how do you feel about online dati-"

Iwaizumi's hand instinctively made its way up to smack Oikawa's head, "No! What he meant was, coach, you look ... very handsome today"

The coach looked taken back. His eyes darted around, unsure of how to respond, "Ah. Yes.Thank you."

"Ah, screw this! Coach, please let me be on your team! I will do any adjustments necessary!" Akane declared, bowing her head and maintaining her composure. 

"Please!" Oikawa and Iwaizumi followed.

There was a few seconds of startled silence before they snuck a peek at the coach. A look of shocked surprise came into the face of the man, and Akane wondered all the possible answers he could possibly say, until she realised that he had leaned back and was laughing uproariously.  
  
"I thought that was always the case. Don't think I haven't noticed you three whisper to yourselves all day," the coach said, "Since our school doesn't have a girls team, you're allowed to play with us - no adjustments needed. I, for one, think that you'll be a great addition to Aoba Johsai. So welcome, Nishikawa."

Akane's eyes are alight, and her every muscle needed to move, to jump. 

"Thank you, coach! You won't regret this!" She vowed.

Turning to her two team mates, she pulled them into a group hug, "We did it!"

"Welcome to the official team!" Oikawa exclaimed.

The coach gathered the rest of the team, clearing his throat before announcing, " Excellent concentration, quick footwork, and commendable game sense. Everyone, I want to formally welcome the newest member of our team, Nishikawa Akane. I think she has tremendous talent, and will be very useful to us, especially in an official match."

The team shared a few glances, some mumbling between themselves, somewhat skeptical about having a female player for the first time. 

"What's up with everyone? She's obviously very good," Makki piped up. He turned towards her and welcomed her to the team.

Iwaizumi stepped up as well, "Well done, Akane. You deserve it."

"Yeah, everyone, say welcome in 1, 2-" Oikawa instructed.

Some heads bowed and some had their hands clenched in excitement as they shouted in unison,

"Welcome to the team, Akane!" 

She broke into a smile.

"Thanks Makki! Thanks everyone! I look forward to it."

Akane and Oikawa exchanged a look. They knew they were thinking the same thing -

_Next stop - Nationals._

-

8 P.M.

Iwaizumi, Oikawa and Akane stayed back at the gymnasium - Iwaizumi mopping the floor and Akane picking up the balls, hitting them back in their basket.

"Oikawa! Stop doing serves and actually help us clean!" Iwaizumi yelled. 

"Yes, mum, just one more," Oikawa responded.

"What?!" 

"N-Nothing!" 

Iwaizumi sighed exasperatedly, and Akane giggled at his expression.

"Typical," she commented.

"Do you guys remember the games we played when we were kids?" She asked out of the blue.

Iwaizumi tapped his chin thoughtfully, breaking into a grin, "I remember 'knock and run'."

"Oh, I remember that! The old lady next door looked ready to call the police!" 

"The 'out of order' sign we put on the bus stop and people walking away instead of waiting," Oikawa clutched his stomach, laughing at the memory.

"That was so brilliant! A-And that time we placed an apple on Iwa-kun's dad's bedroom door every day?" Akane said in between laughs.

Oikawa stared. There is something in the way she laughed that reminds him of his better self. To him, she had the kind of creative brain that brought such magic and interest to life, one that enjoys the sparking of ideas

"Oh, man, the look on his face," Iwaizumi chuckled, shaking his head at the memory.

Back then the rest of the world saw a bush of no importance, but years and years ago, it was the headquarters of the most desirable gang in town - or at least in their elementary school. It was probably mischief that bonded them so tight. 

"I wish we could go back," Akane sighed wistfully. She could still remember them huddled in one of their houses, discussing vitally important things - none of which she could remember now.

Oikawa gave her a long look before going back to his serves.

"Hey, Akane," Iwaizumi said suddenly, leaning against his broom, "How are you fitting in at Seijoh? It's different from Fukurodani, isn't it?"

"Yeah, any guys giving you trouble?" Oikawa piped in. 

"What are you, my big brother?" Akane teased.

He glared back, "Don't you brother-zone me!"

Iwaizumi made sure Oikawa had gone back to his serves before continuing, "You know, the smile he does, the one where he has a vacant look in his eyes?"

Akane cocked her head to the side, trying to recall, "Ah yes. You mean this one?"

She arched a brow slightly and plastered a sickly sweet smile on her face. Iwaizumi chuckled.

"Yeah, that," his expression turned serious, "After you left, I don't think I remember ever seeing Oikawa without that smile."

_Oh._

Akane's heart sank with guilt. She remembered it clear as day -the time they left in a hurry, then the time her father forbade her mother from going back.

They never exchanged numbers - in his mind, she would always come back in the winter or summer breaks. Twice every year, for three months each - like clockwork - and he would wait. He'd always wait by the swings in anticipation, waiting for a red Subaru to pull up, and for a charismatic silver haired girl to pop out.

"Maybe for a split second, something real emerged when he won best setter award, and maybe when he beat Kageyama in the Inter- high Preliminaries."

Her memories weighed heavy. She remembered settling at Tokyo, watching the other children laugh and play from the corner of the playground. She was jealous of how happy they were when she felt so sad. 

Everyday she would sit on the swings, eyes swarming with tears and she would always hurriedly scrub them from her face. Tears would lead to sympathy, and sympathy would lead to more tears.

But that was when she met Akaashi.

Akane thoughtlessly fiddled with her thumbs as she immersed in thought. Oikawa was the type to say something like - _"Sad sounds so childish."_ \- and he would think that it was flimsy; something one should be able to cast off with a happy reflection or the smile of a friend.

"At least, up until now," Iwaizumi finished.

"What do you mean?" Akane asked, her eyes on Oikawa. She watched as he swung his serve landed just millimeters away from the court line.

"You know he's always been different with you around," Iwaizumi cracked a smile.

Akane mirrored his expression.

"Welcome back, Akane. We missed you."

"I'm glad to be back. I missed you guys too."


	6. ramen and dice

"The heck?! Our regular ramen spot's closed."

"No way! I'm seriously craving ramen right now though!" 

"No! You're joking."

Iwaizumi sighed, "Whatever, let's just buy some instant noodles."

"Excuse me? Unlike some people here, I actually have a somewhat refined palette!" Oikawa said. 

Iwaizumi's eye twitched, "I'm gonna slug you."

"Wait, what about that one?" Akane pointed towards a ramen shop to their left, with big signs saying 'Extreme Spice Challenge'.

"Extreme ... spice challenge? Huh, I didn't even notice this was here," Oikawa made his way towards the restaurant. 

Akane grinned, "Roll the dice to determine your spice level? You guys think you're up for it?"

"I'm down," Iwaizumi lead the way in. 

"Sounds interesting. Let's have at it then," Oikawa looked determined.

"Are you sure? You've never been the best with spice," Akane arched a brow. She pointed at the sign, "It goes from 0-100, too ..."

"Let's do it."

They headed in and took their seats. The lighting was dim and the air was thick with the scents of so many different spices. Akane, Oikawa and Iwaizumi shared a nervous glance when the old man who owned the restaurant placed a big dice in front of them. 

Akane rolled a 67.

Iwaizumi rolled a 35.

Oikawa rolled a 94.

They tried not to gag as a waitress carried three plates onto their table. 

Akane felt her eyes sting when the bowl was placed in front of her. To be fair, it smelt incredible, but the repercussions of eating this monster ramen could be deadly. She caught Oikawa's stare linger on the waitress, who smiled sweetly and tilted her body down to reveal her enormous breasts as she served him. Iwaizumi caught Akane staring at Oikawa. He kicked Oikawa under the table, breaking his trance and making him whine, "What was that for, Iwa-chan?!"

Iwaizumi did a not-so-subtle glare at Oikawa, and motioned towards Akane, who pretended not to notice. Oikawa caught on and blurted out, "Akane-chan, you look extremely pretty today."

"Thanks, so do you," she replied absentmindedly.

Iwaizumi snorted, "So you're saying she looks ugly every other day?"

"What?! N-No,! That's not what I meant!"

-

"So, Oikawa rolled a 95, and that's why he can't talk today. Thanks for your cooperation," Iwaizumi said as he entered the gymnasium the next morning. 

Akane still couldn't stop laughing. She had greeted Oikawa that morning and was anxious as to why he hadn't responded, and why he had looked so troubled. He quickly scribbled something on his note pad, and it had said _'I can't talk. Spice.'_

"Where'd you manage to find a 100 sided die?!" Makki asked.

"And why?" Matsukawa added.

"He tried to impress a waitress," Akane said in between laughs.

 _'No! She was pretty, but I was trying to impress you!'_ He wanted to shout.

Makki and Matsukawa snorted, "What an idiot. That has Oikawa written all over it."

Akane's ears perked at some girls muttering about Oikawa from the other side of the gymnasium.

"So Oikawa can't talk back?"

"That makes him just your regular pretty face who's good at volleyball?"

"...Wait, I could actually go for that."

Oikawa's lips curled into proud smile as he heard his name being tossed around in their conversation.

"Why does he look so proud of himself?" Kindaichi wondered.

"Oh. Some girls were just saying how attractive he'd be if he SHUT HIS MOUTH once in a while," Akane cupped a hand to her mouth and said loudly.

Akane and Iwaizumi shared a mischievous grin.

"You know what, don't worry, Iwa-kun can be your translator for the day," Akane said. Oikawa paled. "You don't need that!" She grabbed the note pad from his hand and placed it aside.

"Yeah. I'll be alright. We've been together on a near daily basis for a long time now. I should be able to figure out what he wants to say just based on his expressions," Iwaizumi said. 

"I can help out too, if you're stuck," Akane offered.

Oikawa looked moved, and Akane opened her mouth to translate, but Iwaizumi had beat her to it. He took one step and smacked the top of Oikawa's head, ""As if someone as unrefined as you can understand my thoughts, Iwa-chan!" Is that what you're saying?!" 

"Huh? Wait... Was that the face he was making?!" Kindaichi exclaimed, "To me his expression was saying something more like 'He's always there for me in my times of need.'"

Oikawa nodded vigorously, grabbed his note pad and started frantically scribbling on it - 'SOS, SOS, SOS'

"Nah, no way. As if," Akane shook her head. She bit the inside of her lip and tried to hold back the corners of her mouth from turning up.

"Yeah. This guy's such a prick that he can start something with just a smile. There's more to this than just reading his facial expressions," Iwaizumi slapped the notepad away from Oikawa's hands, "This junk's gonna get in the way of practice! I know, I know! Just leave everything to me!"

Oikawa's eyes flashed with alarm as he gave his two best friends a questioning look, unsure whether they were doing this on purpose. Surely not?

"Oikawa-san! Do you think you could show me how to serve?" A first year player approached him. He looked hopeful.

 _'Well, I could do that much at least...'_ He thought, and got into position.

Akane crossed her arms over her chest and pretended to think, "Ah yes. Okay, see, he's saying you just need to get more fired up!"

"She's right," Iwaizumi seconded.

"You might not expect it, but Oikawa can be a real hot-blooded dude," Makki agreed, flashing a thumbs up.

Matsukawa snickered, "He's just saying you need to practice more."

"O-Oh, I see..." The first year said.

Oikawa shook his head, panic-stricken, and feverishly gesturing with his hands, and Akane could tell he was saying 'No! You've got it all wrong.' She knew. 

But this was fun.

"The hell are you guys dragging your feet for?! Get back to practice or I'll kick your asses! That's what Oikawa's saying right now!" Iwaizumi yelled, motioning towards his team members. 

Oikawa's eyes widened, 'When have I ever said that?!'

He tapped Akane's shoulder, and pointed outside, making jogging motions. She nodded, "Alright. Iwa-kun and I will go with you."

"Yup, we'll catch up with practice in a bit," Iwaizumi announced before heading out.

"'Jeez, he's so overprotective, what is he, my mom?" is what Toru's saying right now," Akane stated when she and Iwaizumi caught up with Oikawa.

"I knew it!" Iwaizumi tried to run after him, but he had dashed away. 

Oikawa thought he had escaped Iwaizumi's evil clutches, but he sighed (internally) in frustration as he felt himself being pushed backwards. 

"Watch where you're goin', you prick!" 

He had bumped into a volleyball player from Ohgiminami, with slicked back black hair. He was scowling angrily. Two other guys stood beside him, looking just as much a delinquent as he is.

_'Oh crap. These guys look like bad news. Shit. I can't talk.'_

"The hell, man! You're ignoring us?!"

"Wait!" Akane interjected, finally catching up to Oikawa. He had never looked more relieved. "He says sorry for bumping into you, but this is on both parties. You don't need to get so worked up about it. It was a mistake."

Oikawa's eyes almost welled up with happy tears. Seeing her stand up for him like this-

"Yeah, you guys owe us an apology too. That's what he's saying," 

_'NO!'_

"You wanna go, you little punk?!" One of the guys from Ohgiminami shouted.

He could see a vein pop out on their foreheads as they approached him, "You're asking for it!"

"Hey, wait, isn't he that Oikawa guy from Aoba Johsai?" One of them stopped.

"He's the one everyone says has a terrible personality..." Another responded.

"That's right! Now fall to your knees, you plebeians! ... Is what Oikawa is saying right now!" Iwaizumi confirmed.

"W-Wait..." Akane started. These guys look like proper delinquents. 

"Alright, we might lose at volleyball, but we won't lose in a good old-fashioned brawl!" 

"Oh, yeah?! Then I'll take you all on! ... Is what Oikawa is saying!" Iwaizumi yelled. 

Oikawa massaged his throat softly before parting his lips, "Staaaaaaa....iih...... Iiiiih.... Huuuurrrrh!"

"What's he saying?!"

"He's going to kill us all" Iwaizumi yelled, "Run!"

"Oh crap, let's run! He's really going to kill us!!"

"No, wait, he's just saying it hurts!" Akane tried to call out after them, but they had scrambled off out of sight. She placed her hands on her hips and turned towards Oikawa, "Now what do we do with you?"

He pointed at his throat, and Akane chuckled, "Yes, yes, I know. Let's head back and grab you some water."

His shoulders slumped down in relief, glad that it was only the two of them now. As she was about to turn back, he grabbed her wrist and she smiled at the question he had in his eyes.

"Yes, Toru. I know you're in love with Iwa-kun."

"Nhhhh...!!" Oikawa tried to protest, but every sound he made felt like being roasted from the inside. Painful was an understatement. 

_What else could he do to convey his message?_

At a literal loss for words, he put his arms around her and pulled her in a hug. There were so many things he could say right now. 

Akane laughed, "I'm just messing with you." 

She pulled away, and as much as he wanted to pull her into another hug, he intertwined their fingers together instead. Pulling him back to Aoba Johsai, she smiled, "I know I know. No, I don't agree with those girls. I like you the way you are. You're still Oikawa Toru, all talk or no talk."


	7. hit it until it breaks

Akane had her back against the warm grass, a volleyball adjacent to her head and a bowl of strawberries close to it. She rubbed the petals of a dandelion between her fingers watching her skin take on the sunny hue. She looked like she'd spent the afternoon painting instead of lying on her back in the meadow - perfecting the art of emptying her head.

It was something she'd always done before an exam, or before a big game. There was only so much she could take before she needed a wide open sky and plants under her back. She could hear her mum already, 'Did you waste your afternoon? How are you going to get into Medical school? Why don't you help out around the house?'

Akane let her breath out slowly and rose to her feet, wiping the plant fragments from her pants. She felt better for the brief escape.

She trudged into the attic, resting her hands on her hips as her eyes glazed over twelve large boxes, the last ones from their move waiting to be opened and unpacked.

She kneeled down behind one of them labelled 'Akane / 11'

She remembered refusing to look at photographs - always afraid they would become worn, sun bleached or damaged. She was mistaken. Those pictures were conduits to her best memories. And when she finally could bring herself to look through the photo album -

A photograph, that was all it took for her eyes to start watering. She clutched the solid wooden frame tight in her hand, able to see a ghostly reflection of her face in the thin sheen of glass that covered it. Three figures, best friends, arms thrown around each other fondly. The brown haired boy was in the middle, his gaze shifted towards the silver haired girl to his left attentively. Radiating sunlight, the girl was smiling from ear- to-ear because of a joke the other boy with the black hair made. He was holding a shrively lemon in his hand.

And suddenly she was thrown back years and years and years ago. All of the noise disappeared in an instant. It was like being stuck between two realities. But she didn't fight them as the memories surged through her mind.

_Oikawa's 10th birthday. His parents were out of town, and they had sent him some money to keep himself happy, and he hated but it but had tried to keep his cool. Akane saw through the act. She kissed him on the cheek absentmindedly, then gave him a balloon which popped in his face. He had jumped, startled._

_"Happy birthday, Toru. You're one of the best people I know," and she had meant it._

_Afterwards, she had given him pink lemonade, to which he had replied with a scrunched up face, "I've never seen any pink lemons."_

_Iwaizumi had gotten angry at his reluctance. Akane laughed._

_"Drink it, drink it!" They chanted._

_She could never forget the day she and Iwaizumi woke up at 4 in the morning after a rainstorm the previous night just to pick lemons. Oikawa ahd put it to his lips hesitantly, an acid like taste engulfing his mouth, but he tipped the glass higher in order to make her happy. His right eye was twitching uncontrollably afterwards, and he gulped multiple times to keep himself from barfing. Then, he claimed it made him salivate abnormally._

_She hugged him afterwards, her hair smelling like lemons. The day she started to have the tiniest feelings for him._

Akane took a deep breath. She smiled softly at the picture, placing it down gently beside her and making a mental note to put it in her room later.

She thought momentarily about what it would have been if she had met Akaashi first. She shook her head, and the thoughts away. He was always easy with honest advice, but carefully phrased not to cause harm. He'd never just been a good friend to her, he'd been one of the rocks in her life - an anchor point.

Akane picked up the next object in the box. A disc labelled 'Volleyball Practice'. Curiosity getting the better of her, she made her way downstairs, leaving the rest of the boxes untouched.

Her fingers drummed against the floor impatiently as she waited for an image to pop up on the screen.

The video was blurry. She reached out to knock to fix it when she saw a younger version of her smile brightly at the screen.

_"I think it's recording now," she said. Her voice was much more different back then - much higher pitched and melodical. She guessed she was 13 years old._

The video recorder seemed to be placed at the far corner of the court, just outside the white lines.Akane could clearly make out Iwaizumi, Oikawa and herself, all dressed in sports gear, and an abundance of volleyballs at their feet.

_"You guys haven't answered my question yet," she had said in the video._

_'Ah.'_ Akane remembered her question before the younger version of herself could say it.

_"Who would be harder to live without, your significant other or your best friend?" She breathed out._

_Except the younger version of her used 'boyfriend or girlfriend' instead of 'significant other'._

_They would always talk during practice - what to have for dinner, why dogs bark, how there were hundred thousand hairs in a scalp, anything really. They had come up with the idea, claiming it would build up concentration despite distractions such as noise._

_'That's not a bad idea, actually...'_ Akane thought, considering bringing it back to practice.

_Oikawa was on one set of the net and Iwaizumi the other. The former practicing his serves, and the latter practicing his receives._

_"Best friend," Iwaizumi responded after a long while._

_"Can't it be both?" Oikawa looked torn between the two choices, "Why can't it be both?"_

_Akane shrugged, "I guess it can."_

_The serves would always be a hit or miss, and the receives would at times bounce off the upper arm or the fist._

"You gotta bend your legs more..." She commented absentmindedly. 

_She watched her younger self approach Iwaizumi first, commenting on his posture and proceeding to make a proper receiving stance on her own. He nodded, face full of concentration. Then she made her way across the net, mumbling a few words too soft for the video to pick up._

_Akane turned up the volume, content it was much better now._

_"Oh, and Toru," she had said, bouncing the ball heartily. She held it tight in her hands, giving it three precise spins before flipping it into the air. It twirled slightly before letting gravity plunge it back down._

Akane squinted her eyes at the screen. She still did that little ritual before hitting a serve.

_She watched herself pace and rush forward - two small strides before letting her left foot step forward steadily, then exploding into the air, her hand raised back , her eyes solely on the ball, as she swung forcefully. A flurry of blue and yellow blasted across the other side of the court, making a mighty whack before it bounced off, away from the camera lenses._

_Oikawa's mouth was hung open as he stared at her in awe He felt his lips stretch wide into a gaping grin._

_"Yeah?" He responded, grabbing the ball. He was desperate to try it out on his own now._

_Akane returned his grin._

_"If you're going to hit it, hit it until it breaks."_


	8. kageyama tobio

It started snowing today. 

Akane looked out the window, her eyes spotting a figure leaning against the gate of her house.

_Ah crap, she was late._

The street looked like an unfinished painting. So much of the canvas was still perfectly white, as if waiting for the artists hand to return. The morning light struggled through the murky cloud, but even in its weakness it was enough to blind.

Akane checked her reflection in the mirror once more before heading down.

"Oikawa-kun and Iwaizumi-kun's here, honey!" Her mother shouted from downstairs. 

"I'm coming!" She replied, skipping down the stairs. 

It had been a few months since they've moved to this unusually big house. Although she couldn't deny that it was becoming more and more home-like. Maybe it was because of the friends she had made, or how close she had gotten to her team mates. Or maybe it was the fact that furniture had arrived and her room was no longer empty.

When Oikawa and Iwaizumi had asked why she had moved away, she opened up about her parents' divorce. Immediately, she could see the regret dawning on his face. She hadn't cried, but them on the other hand... 

She wasn't surprised. While Oikawa parents were always out on business trips, he loved her parents as if they were his own - and the love went both ways. Iwaizumi was the textbook boy next door that every parent loved. 

Akane smiled as she remembered the way her mother's eyes lit up when Iwaizumi and Oikawa entered the house, singing praises and showering both boys with compliments. 

It was a happy night.

"Oh, Akane," her mother stopped her as she put on her shoes, "I... I'm going to go to Tokyo to finalise some things with your dad... I'll be back late at night. I might have some dinner with your brother too."

"Oh," Akane was taken back, "Do you want me to go with you?"

"No, no, you go have fun," her mother waved her off with a smile, "I just wanted to tell you in case you came home and I wasn't back yet."

Saying her goodbye to her mother, she closed the door behind her.

"Hey!" 

She greeted the two boys with a hug as usual.

Oikawa could feel the butterflies in his stomach double.

"Yo," Iwaizumi greeted.

"Hello, Akane-chan!" Oikawa said cheerily, "You look pretty today."

Akane was taken back, and she blurted out the first reply she thought of, "Thanks! So do you."

Iwaizumi snorted.

It had been more than a month since she had arrived at Sendai.

He was much better at hiding his emotions than he thought. _Or perhaps he wasn't... And she's figured out that he was interested... Or perhaps--_

"I can't believe I'm meeting a smaller version of Oikawa and teach him volleyball! How nostalgic," Akane's eyes gleamed in excitement.

"I can't believe I agreed to tag along," Iwaizumi yawned.

OIkawa shrugged, "I can't believe we're missing a half day of practice for this. Stupid Takeru."

The countdown for the Spring Playoffs tournament had begun.

8 weeks time to be precise.

_Why hasn't she fallen for him yet? He was positive 9 year old Akane had a crush on him. He had played a few moves, said a few honey layered compliments that usually does wonders._

On the way, Oikawa stopped by a rather odd looking house. It was long and narrow, perhaps only twelve feet wide at the front, but it stretched some thirty feet back like a giant shoe box. He went in by himself, and came out with a bald primary school kid, tapping away on his phone. 

"Oh, you must be Takeru-kun! I'm Akane!" 

When the little boy looked up at her, his face flushed. His eyes darted from her, to Iwaizumi, back to her, then to Oikawa who was staring at him earnestly, then back to Akane, then back to Oikawa.

_Come on, little brat. Say it._

"H-H-Hi. My name is Takeru and I go to Lil'Tykes Volleyball, Toru always comes by and teaches me out of the kindness of his own heart, and- and- he's the best teacher I've ever had. He's also a smart student and is loved by everyone. I love him so much."

Except the way he said it sounded very ioquaciously fervent - said with one breath of air and no spaces in between.

Akane and Iwaizumi's mouths hung open in the shape of an 'o'. They started to laugh hysterically.

Takeru turned to Oikawa for approval. Oikawa nodded satisfied, well pleased at his nephew. He gave him a thumbs up.

"So now you're going to buy me a corndog right?" 

OIkawa half-gasped, "O-Oi, don't blow my cover like that -"

"Wow, Oikawa. I didn't realise you were... not an idiot?" Iwaizumi butted in.

"He-He's an round-allder!" Takeru chimed.

"It's all rounder!" Oikawa slapped a hand to his forehead.

_Man, never trust a kid to do a man's job..._

"Wow, Is he now?!" Akane gasped, her stomach shaking as she fought a gale of giggles, "Toru, you didn't tell me you were so spectacular! Consider me stunned. Did you know, Iwa-kun?"

"Not. At. All," Iwaizumi enunciated every word, shaking his head incredulously. They dissolved into a puddle of laughter. 

Oikawa sighed, "Alright, stop it guys, I know I'm pretty great."

"You are." 

But the way Akane said it this time dripped of sincerity, and Oikawa could tell.

-

"Alright, so pop up with your entire body the second the ball make contact with your forearms," Akane instructed.

Takeru got into position, reading to retrieve Akane's spikes. 

"Remember, your whole body can decide where the ball goes - Not just your forearms."

She bounced the ball twice against the asphalt, grateful it had stopped snowing - tossed the ball into the air and sent it flying down.

Smack!

"I got it!" Takeru said gleefully. 

"You do, give me a high five!" 

Oikawa and Iwaizumi sat to the side. They were supposed to take turns in 30 minute intervals but Akane had started enjoying herself so much she offered to take their slots too. 

She seemed to have a permanent smile stuck onto her face. It was proven by the way she chatted with Takeru, a bright smile on her face, along with ridiculously exaggerated movements as she talked.

"She's a good teacher," Oikawa remarked.

"She did teach us volleyball too, you know," Iwaizumi reminded, "And Takeru seems to like her more than you."

Oikawa's eye twitched in annoyance but even he couldn't deny it. He heard his name being called out and saw Akane beckoning for him.

"Alright, I'll head off now. I have a family dinner to get to," Iwaizumi stood up as well, dusting himself off. 

"Already?"

"As much as I'd like you to mess up and make a fool of yourself, yeah. See you!" 

"F-Fool?! You're so mean, Iwa-chan!"

Iwaizumi waved to Akane and Takeru before heading off.

Today was about basics. 

"I told you before, try to form a triangle with your fingers but remember your thumbs can't touch!"

After around 41 more minutes of demonstrations and attempts, they trio got ready to head home.

"O-Oikawa-san, what are you doing here?!" cried out a voice.

Akane turned towards the beholder - and found herself staring into a pair of prominent sharp eyes. He was half a head taller than her, his black hair cropped short with a fringe that hangs over his dark blue eyes. He had on a school shirt, a bag slung over his shoulderse with the words 'Karasuno High School' embedded in the middle. 

_Where has she heard that name before? Karasuno?_

She sensed Oikawa tense ever so slightly at this guy's presence. Yet he held his head up high.

"I'm looking after my nephew," he responded.

"Hey!" Takeru said.

"H-Hey," the guy responded. He turned towards Akane, and she blinked.

_Ah right! Introductions._

"I'm Nishikawa Akane, and you are?" 

"Tobio. Kageyama Tobio." 

_Oh him! The boy that Oikawa saw as competition._

"Oikawa-san, what about club?"

"We get Mondays off," he answered plainly.

"You guys take days off?... T-That's such a waste...!" Kageyama said, frustration building up.

"It's not skipping practice or anything. We're just getting rest. They're two different things," Akane held up two fingers to emphasize. 

His face crinkled in confusion, "We?"

"She's the newest member of the volleyball team, so," Oikawa jutted his finger out, "Get ready to lose again, Tobio-chan!"

"Akane, you're in the boys volleyball team? That's so cool!" Takeru gushed, "Eh... Why are you with Toru? He's so lame, look at him!"

"S-Shut up, Takeru!" 

"Also... Oikawa-san, one more thing-"

"Nope!" Oikawa turned around, poking his tongue out mockingly, "Stupid! Your'e stupid! You stupid face!"

"Oikawa-san-"

"Nope! Can't hear you! Can't hear a thing!"

Akane sighed, jabbing his side to make him stop.

"Ow!"

At the same time, Kageyama bowed, "Please! Listen to what I have to say."

Oikawa huffed, turning on his heel. 

Akane stepped forward, and grabbed his wrist, "It might be interesting to see what he has to say."

Oikawa pulled at his arm slightly, and her hands slipped down into his. He tangled their fingers together.

She looked sharply up as he did so, her cheeks reddening. 

His heart started to beat erratically in his chest, but as if he was going to let it show. Her hand fitted perfectly in his, her fingers completing the space left in his.

"What-" Akane started off, startled at his sudden choice of action - but she made no attempt to jerk her hand away. 

"Smooth," Takeru commented.

"Please! I beg you! I beg you!" Kageyama shouted in the background.

Oh god, he even tries to be smooth at a time like this. There is _literally_ someone begging for his attention.

"Please!" Kageyama sprinted up to them, keeping his head bowed as he did so.

"Takeru," Oikawa grinned, sensing the perfect opportunity.

"What?"

"Take a picture for me," Oikawa handed his phone to his nephew, his other hand still tangled in Akane's as he skipped over to Kageyama's bowed form.

"Yay! I'll call this - 'Tobio is No Match for Oikawa!'" He held a peace sign, and Akane followed suit. A part of her felt terrible for making fun of this boy, but it was quite humorous in a way.

_Click!_

"Toru, are you actually happy about this picture? ... See, Akane, he's so lame!" Takeru said. 

"O-Oi, shut up! You said you loved me and I was the best just a few hours ago!" Oikawa said grouchily.

"... That's cause you promised me a corndog."

Oikawa sighed before turning to his underclassman, "Well, what do you want? I'm busy, you know."

"I thought you said you wanted to spend time with Akane, so you spared some free time," Takeru butted in.

At the sound of that, the corners of Akane's lips turned up. She gave his hand a squeeze.

"S-Shut up, Takeru!" 

"And you told me to say all that nice stuff about you. You made me practice like, 6 times!" 

"I said, shut up!"

Akane frowned, turning her attention to Kageyama. She unlinked her fingers from Oikawa before clearing her throat.

"So, what did you want to say?"

Kageyama stood up straight, "So, uh, what if you were close to a tournament, and, uh..." 

"Akane-chan, why are you helping the enemy?" Oikawa asked, once in a while shooting daggers in Kageyama's direction.

She tapped her chin thoughtfully, "You're right! You should be the one helping him. Go ahead!" 

"W-Wait, that's not what I meant!" 

Akane pushed him forward, "I won't hold your hand if you don't!" 

Takeru shot her a thumbs up, "Nice!"

She gave him a double thumbs up in response.

"... Please don't make it sound so easy! Hinata has no concept of technique!" Kageyama interjected, mid-conversation. 

"Don't get the wrong idea. The one who has leadership in an attack isn't you. It's shorty. If you can't understand that, you're just regressing back to playing the tyrant king."

Oikawa's eyes were full of contemplation as he spoke, "Let's go, Akane-chan, Takeru."

"I'm excited to see what kind of setter you are, Kageyama," she stated, "See you at Spring Playoffs!"

"W-Wait, Nishikawa-san. Are you really playing on the boys' team?" Kageyama asked disbelievingly.

She smiled in response, "I am. I transferred about a month ago. It's a shame they don't have a girls' volleyball team."

"Transferred? What school?" 

He had an aura of pure intensity around him, whether it was asking questions or seeking advice. 

"Fukurodani," she grinned.

Kageyama's eyes widened, "Really? We're going to Tokyo next week for some practice matches. I think they're one of the three power house schools..."

Akane bit her lip, forcing on a smile, "Is that so? Well, tell them Akane said hi!"

"Y-Yes, okay."

"I'll be leaving now!" She said, proceeding to walk past.

"W-Wait, one more question, please!" 

Akane paused and tilted her head back. She could hear Oikawa shout from a distance, "Akane-chan, I'm hungry!" 

"What is it?" She asked, turning back to Kageyama.

"Are you Oikawa-san's underclassman as well? May I ask what position you play? Did he teach you how to play volleyball?"

Akane laughed heartily, "That's actually three questions."

Kageyama opened his mouth to apologize, but she had beat him to it.

"Don't apologize, I love your enthusiasm."

"Yes, thank you."

"I am not Toru's underclassman, I'm a third year high school student, but please don't bother with 'senpai' - I prefer Akane," she said as he was about to apologize again. He nodded gingerly.

Snow had started to fall again, silvery flakes drifted down, glittering in the bright light of the peaking crescent moon.

"I'm a wing spiker, and well, no. It was actually me who taught him how to play," she finished.

"Y-You- Tha-That's-" Kageyama seemed to be at a loss for words. 

"Please don't be intimidated! He honed his skills on his own - I just taught him a few tricks!" She quickly said. 

She skipped down the last few steps, catching up with Oikawa.

"See you soon, Kageyama!" 

"You took your time," Oikawa pointed out.

"Is someone jealous?" Akane teased.

"No!" He said defensively.

"Yeah, I think so," Takeru said at the same time.

"Takeru, shut up!"

"Really?" Akane probed, jabbing his side playfully.

"Really."

"Are you absolutely sure?" Her eyes sparkled, the light making them look alive.

"Absolutely sure," he said, but the heat creeping up to his cheeks told otherwise.

She rolled her eyes playfully, _he was still as stubborn as always._

"Really, absolutely sure? Because it's totally fine if you are."

"Really, absolutely sure," he insisted.

"Okay, then."

"Okay, fine," he huffed.

"Okay," she echoed, before slipping her hand back in his. He tried hard stop the corners of his mouth turning upwards.

He could've sworn he saw her blush. But then again, it could also be the moonlight playing tricks on his mind. 

She looked up at him momentarily. She could've sworn she saw his mouth twitch, and she was pretty sure he was fighting a smile. 

"Okay."


	9. you're a terrible eavesdropper

_What does hand holding signify?_

_How do you know if a girl is into you?_

_Hints that a girl likes you._

_How do you know if someone is over their ex?_

_How do you ask if a girl is into you without sounding creepy?_

_Am I in love?_

Clearing his search history, Oikawa sighed in frustration. He knew what the answers to his questions, obviously. He's had girlfriends before. 

Oikawa never, ever had trouble questioning his love life.

At tournaments, he would receive baked goods from girls he had never seen before his entire life. Some of his teachers gave him special treatment. Girls in his school would blush when he was within 3 feet of their radius. 

He was almost positive she was into him. Almost positive. 

_She even held his hand!_

_Did he really need verbal confirmation?_

_Yes._

_Yes he did._

He hated being such a jittery mess. Everyone had noticed, too.

The hallways were always empty after school. He sped up to his classroom, annoyed he forgot his homework. Oikawa was about to enter when he heard muffled noises from inside.

He tilted his head down and peeked through the slit in the doorway. In his line of sight was a boy two people he recognised. The boy was from the basketball team, and the girl - well -

"Akane-san, please be my girlfriend. I can see myself marrying you someday," he declared.

Oikawa's mouth hung open at the blunt confession. He half expected Akane a dumfounded look on her face, or something that displayed how thrown back she was - but no - she put her palms together in a prayer motion and squeezed her eyes shut.

"I'm sorry! I ... I have someone else in mind," she replied.

Oikawa swore his heart skipped a beat.

"At least come to prom with me," the student pleaded. 

"There's a prom?" She scratched her head, "W-Well, um, my answer's still no, sorry."

"O-Oh, really? That's okay. I'm sorry to have made you uncomfortable. May I ask who?"

"No, don't be sorry. I'm sure many girls would love to go out with you," she paused for a while, casting her eyes away from the boy, "Well, there's this setter that I have my eyes on..."

At the sound of that, the boy's shoulders fell, "Oh Oikawa-san... I could never compete with him."

Akane cocked her head to the side, "Toru? Who said I was talking about him?"

 _'Wait what?!_ '

Oikawa grabbed the wall for support. He felt his whole body just almost... 

_Shatter._

Akane shifted her feet, leaning on one of the tables. She risked a quick look to the side, and caught a glimpse of messy brown hair.

_Great, he was still listening._

"It's not? Really? I can't tell if you're being honest... Ha,ha... I've always assumed you were in love with him, but-" The basketball players' eyes lit up a little at that.

"In love?"A grinned mischievously, cupping her hands to her mouth and said as loud as she could, "I mean, I don't know... Maybe I'd be more honest if I wasn't getting spied on."

And in an instant, she snapped her head towards the door, and startled, Oikawa stumbled back. A second later, the basketball player dashed out of the classroom, excusing himself.

"Got you!" She pointed at him, a smirk plastered on her face.

"You knew I was here?!" He stammered. Then he tried to regain his composure, "You know there's so much dirt on the floor. Biology project. Um, er - we have to find samples to put in our Petri dishes."

"Really? Last I remembered we had the same Biology teacher..."

"Right! Oh well!"

"Right... You weren't very subtle," she pointed out.

The corners of his lips were turned up into a smile, but he was grumbling to himself internally, "I was curious, what can I say?" 

He prided himself on the fact that he hasn’t attempted to literally murder all the boys that have confessed to her – _yet_.

"How does it feel seeing another person confess to someone that wasn't you?" Akane giggled.

"It's not my fault I'm popular!" Oikawa protested. He walked over to his desk, crouched, and started to place books in his bag absentmindedly. 

"It's actually quite obnoxious, you know. They would not shut up. The girls in our class especially," Akane leaned her hip against Oikawa's table, "They worship you like some sort of sex god when you’re actually a dork in real life.”

At the sound of that, Oikawa tried to stand up so quickly his head smacked against the table, the sound echoing through the room.

"What the hell? Are you okay?!" Akane's eyes grew wide.

"Me? A dork?" Oikawa exclaimed dramatically.

_Damn it. He couldn't help it anymore. No use playing shy now._

"Do you still like him? Fukurodani setter?"

Akane fiddled with her thumbs, "We decided that long distance doesn't really work, so we don't talk anymore..."

"But, I'm asking if you're still in love with him," Oikawa clarified. He sucked in a breath and put on a smile.

_Don't let it falter._

_In love?_

_Since when had he started using that word?_

"I ... I don't... "

_Know._

_Wait, was I ever in love with him?_

"Really?" 

In a few strides, Oikawa managed to close the distance between them, and instead of taking a step back, Akane held her ground. Her breath caught in her throat, and she pretended to look outside the windows, as if something flashy caught her eye.

"Akane."

When she didn't respond, his hand drifted to her hip unexpectedly. It settled there and pulled her closer. She inhaled sharply, splaying her hand against his chest, intending to push him away, but instead she left it there.

"Toru, isn't this a bit fast?" she breathed out. 

_Fast?_ He thought. 

_I've waited five years for you._

He moved his head closer to hers. She stood frozen, from both fear and excitement. She leaned in, so her forehead rested against his. 

"Akane-chan..." Oikawa's voice wavered, exhilarated from the tension between them.

Before any of them could make another move, the door to the classroom slammed open. Akane and Oikawa practically flew out of each others arms at the noise, knocking back some desks in process.

A look of surprise, disgust, and horror made an interesting mix on Iwaizumi's face.

"What the hell were you guys doing?! Get a room!" 

Akane and Oikawa exchanged a glance. 

"But we are in a room," she pointed out matter-of-factly. She covered her face with her hands as she felt her cheeks growing hotter by the second.

Oikawa bursted out laughing, "She got you there, Iwa-chan!"

"Shut up, Shittykawa!"

Iwaizumi caught his breath, before continuing, "Anyways. I came here to grab my bag, but while you guys are here, I have big news from the coach. I was going to tell you guys tonight, but might as well do it now."

"News? What is it?" Oikawa asked.

"We're going to Tokyo. Regular members only. We have two practice matches, so we're staying overnight." 

_Tokyo?_

Akane inhaled sharply, her chest a mixture of enthusiasm and anxiety.

"When?"

Oikawa seemed unfazed at all, but Akane could see him clench his jaw and narrow his eyes.

"Tomorrow. The bus leaves at 4, right after school, so don't be late. And pack light."

_Tomorrow?!_

"Which school?" Akane asked. She suspected she already knew the answer.

Oikawa saw his best friend glancing at him out of the corner of his eye. Just for a split second.

"Fukurodani. Wipe that expression off your face, trashykawa! We're going to kick their asses."


	10. flashback - friendship and puberty

_"Wait, I don't want to step on puddles!" Akane shouted as she tiptoed around the damp ground, careful not to splash mud all over her shoes._

_"Hurry up! It's so cold!" Oikawa urged, teeth chattering. He grimaced as his next step sounded a big 'squish' and a 'splash', and he knew he had stepped into a deep puddle._

_"Tooru!" Akane complained, looking down at the mud stains on her new glittery boots._

_Iwaizumi pulled a sour face, "Gross! You guys are so slow, hurry up! We're going to get sick."_

_"Yes, mum," Akane and Oikawa responded in unison, earning a look from Iwaizumi._

_Cold wind in their hair and no brains in their heads, they sped past the crossroads, mindlessly stepping on dirty puddles of water now that their shoes and clothes were stained anyways.  
  
Akane ran through the rain in-between the two boys, no raincoats, no umbrellas. She turned head to the smiling boy on her right. Their hands were laced together as they ran, he was a few feet ahead of her.   
  
There was something about him that attracted her. It didn't hurt that he was a good looking boy; but it was much more than just looks._

_He always has a fond look in his brown eyes and he always had a welcoming posture that convinced people that he was of no threat. His hair was always swept outwards, a shade of chestnut brown. But in the rain, his hair lied inky about his face, hanging in clumps. He's the one that pushes her out of her comfort zone, daring her to try things she never could on her own. He brought out the braver side in her, one she never knew she had. He was the daredevil, the popular boy fancied by many girls. He was the charming one, and in her eyes, she wanted to believe he was the boy who would never break a girl's heart. She's known him for almost 8 years now, and he was one of her best friends, but she saw more in him. He was a little less mature than others his age, but most of the time, he was a good listener, a good advisor, and he knew how to draw a fine line between fun and serious.And she could go on and on about him, making an endless list of how he was different._

_Then, she turned to the boy to her left. His strides faster than hers, a fiery, spirited look in his black eyes. He was quiet most of the times; but not out of shyness. It was more a choice, a sense of reservedness, to first observe the situation before getting involved. He was never loud, but when he was, it wasn't to call attention to himself. He was far more mature than anyone their age. He's always been there for her, acting like an overprotective big brother at times. Friends. That's what the two of them were. She could never see him more than just a brother. He would only show his nice side to her, like she was someone he respected. They were the bestest of friends, inseparable, and to her, never more than that._  
  
Both of them barged through the door of a house, each yelling different things. Akane followed them in the house and spotted a woman with beautiful brown hair, and when she stares at them, it was gentle, as if there was a kindness that flowed inside. On the couch was a man flipping through a newspaper. His hair was thick, black and poker straight, framing a broad face of bold bone structure.

_His eyes glazed over the kids before turning back to his reading._

_"Hello, Mr. Oikawa!" Akane and Iwaizumi greeted simultaneously._

_"Hello, Akane, Hajime. You guys are going to catch a cold," he commented._

_"Toru, why don't you lend them some clothes?" She suggested._

_The boy huffed, making his way upstairs, "Yes mum, I was already going to."_

_Akane had been in Oikawa's room more than a dozen times now - whether it was sleepovers, watching volleyball games on his TV or just as a place to well... escape._

_As soon as they changed into dry clothes, they slumped onto the bed, their bodies sinking into the soft mattress._

_"Eh, Akane, did you really kiss Tatsuki?" Iwaizumi asked out of the blue._

_"W-What?!" Akane half shouted, springing up from the bed._

_At the sound of that, Oikawa also sat up,"Who's Tatsuki?"_

_"Idiot, we've been playing volleyball with him for a month now," Iwaizumi scolded._

_"Really?!" Oikawa asked quizzically. If he was honest, he had never paid much attention to many of the players._

_He noted that he should improve on that._

_"Oh, well, yeah, but it was on the cheek," Akane admitted bashfully._

_There were three knocks on the door, and Oikawa's mum had poked her head in._

_"Oh, hi, Mrs. Oikawa!" Akane waved._

_The woman smiled back at her, crinkles forming at the corners of her eyes, "Hello, everyone. I don't have any milk buns today... Does icecream sound good?"_

_Akane's eyes lit up with glee, "Yes, please!"_

_The woman looked pleased. She walked in, beaming as she handed three different bowls to them._

_"Thank you, Mrs. Oikawa!" Akane and Iwaizumi said in unison._

_"Thanks, mum."_

_When she left, there was momentary silence between the three, and the only sound was the clinking of spoons against bowls._

_The icecream had begun to melt, and Akane watched it until there was a golf ball sized lump in the middle, and then stirred rapidly with her spoon._

_Perfect._

_She never liked to eat it when it was so cold, the flavour just didn't come through right. She grinned down at the ceramic bowl of dessert, earning curious looks from her two best friends._

_"You are so weird," Oikawa stared at her bowl and crinkled his face, "You're supposed to eat it for the texture."_

_"No... the taste. You'll get brain freeze if you just... inhale the entire thing, okay."_

_"Inhale?" Oikawa cocked his head to the side._

_"Mhm."_

_Iwaizumi's eyes darted back and forth between his two friends quizically, before saying,"Oh right, back to our conversation... I didn't know you liked him! He's a pretty good libero, I guess..."_

_"He's nothing special, really," Oikawa interrupted. He froze as he realised he had pondered out loud._

_"Well, it was only because it was his birthday..." she added. Her eyes flicked towards Oikawa, waiting for him to say something, but he did not. He flicked his semi-drenched hair to the side in what she knew to be a subconscious act._

_"I didn't know you liked him either. Did you guys hear about what happened to the neighbourhood cat, by the way?" Oikawa began, changing the topic a little bit too hastily. His attempt to keep things light was already waning._

_"Why are you changing the subject?" Iwaizumi asked._

_"Are you jealous? Your face is red," Akane pointed out, her ego getting the best of her._

_"Oh? Do you want me to be jealous or something?" He teased, a smirk creeping onto his face._

_"Mhm, that's totally it," she rolled her eyes._

_"Why do you even like him?"_

_"I don't-"_

_"You wouldn't kiss him if you didn't, and he wouldn't ask you if he didn't like you either."_

_"So you are jealous," Iwaizumi stated._

_"Wha-?! I'm not! I just think Akane-chan can do better."_

_"How would you know? You have girls following you like, all the time! From the moment you step out your front door!" She protested, crossing her arms over her chest._

_"It's not like I like it!" He countered._

_"Liar.You obviously like it, you player! That's right, I see the look on your face whenever a girl says 'Oh, Oikawa-kun, you're so funny!' or 'Oikawa-kun, I traveled 2 hours to buy these cookies for you!'"_

_Oikawa couldn't get a word out at first._

_Well, it was true... It wasn't like he hated it..._

_"At least I don't go around kissing them," he then said, emphasizing the word 'kissing' and turning his head away in annoyance._

_"It was only on the cheek!" She shot back, accentuating every word._

_"Guys, not again. This is the fifth time," Iwaizumi wailed, pushing his face into a pillow._

_Akane stared at Oikawa thoughtfully. Every time she visited Sendai, it would be a breath of fresh air for all of them, and 'fun' would not even begin to describe their adventures. However as she watched Iwaizumi and Oikawa bicker jokingly amongst each other, she realised how things have been rocky recently with the latter._

_The first time, it was about the correct rice to water ratio._

_The second time, it was about whether a tomato was a fruit or a vegetable._

_"Akane, you okay?" She heard Iwaizumi call out her name._

_The third time, they fought about what movie to watch when they wanted to watch the same movie._

_"Uh-huh," she answered absentmindedly, still deep in thought._

_And their most recent fight was this morning, when -_

_"Akane?"_

_Wait! Could it be... -_

_She half gasped, turning the attention of both boys on her._

_Puberty?!_

_Akane snapped out of her thoughts as she heard a loud 'bang', and she looked up only to see the bedroom door close._

_"Wait, why'd he leave?"_

_"What an idiot, I'm going to go get him," Iwaizumi muttered, jumping off the bed._

_Akane scrunched up her brows together, "Why are we always fighting?"_

_Iwaizumi stopped at the door and stared at her in disbelief, "Akane, you know he likes you right? For a fourteen year old, he's still a bit stupid and immature, so he isn't exactly subtle about it. He's pretty bad at admitting he has emotions too."_

_Akane sat up straighter at his words. Of course, she's always assumed that to an extent. It wasn't like she didn't bear the same feelings... But he was surrounded by girls most hours of the day, and he never seemed to make an effort to fight them off._

_"Doesn't he act like this around every girl?" She mumbled._

_"No, he doesn't. Even when you're out of town, all he talks about is you," Iwaizumi stated plainly. He shut the bedroom door behind him as he left._

_From inside the room, Akane could hear Iwaizumi yell at Oikawa, and Oikawa shouting 'Ow!', before hearing the bedroom door open and shut again_

_"Sit down next to each other, both of you," Iwaizumi instructed._

_"Yes, mum," they both muttered._

_Oikawa barely looked at Akane, but he complied._

_Iwaizumi took a deep breath and leaned against the wall, "You know I read that-"_

_"Iwa-chan, I didn't know you read!" Oikawa butted in, earning himself a big scowl and a big whack on the head._

_Akane's lip twitched, threatening to break out into a smile. But she had apologized all 4 times now, it'd be nice to hear it back in return for once._

_"Anyways," Iwaizumi began again, eyeing Oikawa, "I read that physical contact helps in building trust, and strengthen friendships."_

_"I don't want friendship," Oikawa grumbled under his breath._

_'I want more than that,' he thought._

_"What's that supposed to mean?" Akane snapped._

_Oikawa gave her a look, refusing to believe she didn't read between the lines._

_"Guys, seriously!"_

_"Alright, alright, so what do you want us to do?"_

_Iwaizumi stepped forward, grabbing Oikawa's hand and placing it on top of Akane's. Iwaizumi grinned, like he was proud of himself._

_"Oh, come on! We did that this morning! And last time too!" Akane started, her cheeks growing redder by the second. She wasn't sure if it was due to anger or embarassment._

_"And it worked!" Iwaizumi answered. He quite liked playing match maker. "This morning you cried because Oikawa wouldn't eat his soggy cereal!"_

_"You're not supposed to waste food! This is why you put milk first, then cereal!" She had cried out frantically._

_"You didn't have to cry!" Oikawa had said. His tone was a little edgier that morning than he expected._

_Akane groaned, "Honestly, Toru, I don't know why you're jealous over Tatsuki. You just don't want attention to be on anyone else but yourself!"_

_"He's not worth your time," he said flatly, his eyes on the carpet._

_"Guys, stop-"_

_"You don't even know who he is!" She cried out, "And you know, I like y-"_

_"Oh, I remember who he is now... He's that guy who's always so hesitant when he calls for the ball, right? What if that happens during Nationals?"_

_"Nationals is ages away! And what?! What do you even mean by that?"_

_"He's not going to bring us a win later on!"_

_"And your smug egotism will?" Akane shot back._

_"Whatever! You're so annoying, I don't know why he or anyone would even like you!" Oikawa pulled his hand away indignantly._

_The silence that followed was deafening._

_"Oi, that was uncalled for," Iwaizumi was the first to break the ice._

_Oikawa stared down at his hands. Iwaizumi was right. Why did he say that?_

_Stupid. Stupid. Stupid._

_When he finally could bring himself to look at her, her eyes were dripping with tears. She refused to look away, even when her lips trembled and her shoulders heaved with emotion, unwilling to back down. She shook her head and let out a bitter laugh._

_Iwaizumi sighed, raising a hand to stroke her back softly as form of support. He gave Oikawa a frustrated look._

_Oikawa couldn't tear his eyes away. She wasn't the type to frown, let alone cry. He opened his mouth to say something, only to close it again. The last thing he wanted was to make the situation worse._

_Then from nowhere came a loud buzzing sound._

_Akane pulled out her phone, it was going off like an annoyed rattlesnake. She took one look at the screen, wiped her tears away, and answered._

_"Hello?" She stifled._

_She pulled herself off the bed and started pacing around the room as she spoke._

_"Why? Why would you say something like that?" Iwaizumi demanded._

_Oikawa was at a loss for words._

_"I... I don't know," he managed to choke out._

_Akane marched back towards the two boys. Her expression had gone hard, and they could tell she was trying hard to keep a cool composure._

_"What's wrong? Who was that?" Iwaizumi asked._

_"It was my brother. My mum's in the hospital, my dad - I- I gotta go, guys. Emergency. I-I'll see you guys later."_

_Her voice was soft and her face was pale, the stark opposite from her usual self. Something was wrong._

_Oikawa tried to catch her eye, but she kept her gaze down as she heaved her bag over her shoulders. She headed towards the door._

_"Wait, do you want us to come wi-"_

_But in a blink of an eye, she was gone._

_I'll apologize to her when she gets back._

_I'll apologize and I'll tell her how I feel._

_But he never got the chance to - that was the last time he ever saw her._


	11. drinks aren't great before a game

***slight nsfw**

Akane sat next to Oikawa on the bus. Their knees brushing against each other every time the bus hits a bump. Her heart raced at the thought of the previous day in the classroom. 

She leaned her head on his shoulder and felt him relax. 

"What's the great captain of Seijoh so nervous about?" She murmured.

Oikawa hated envy. He hated jealousy. But it was too late. Ever since he boarded the bus, his mind had plunged down deep into the abyss.

_How far had they gone? Did she still have feelings for him? Speaking of which, she didn't answer his question. She never said she didn't._

Oikawa recalled the black haired boy from his memories. He had stalked his social media pages to the point where his faced was etched in his mind. He thought of the way he must have pulled her in close as he took her first kiss, or the way her eyes would gleam when he delivered a perfect set for her... Or how they would be each other's first times--

He panicked. The thought trundled through his brain like a through train, with no intention of stopping. 

Akane saw something flash beneath the surface of his hardened expression and she hurried to investigate the sudden shift. It was too late, the emotion disappeared before she could identify it, like reaching desperately for an escaped balloon; the string dangling so tantalizingly close but the wind pushed it away and it's lost forever.

She put her hand on top of his instinctively, and he could feel the chaos in his mind dim.

"Alright, everyone, we're here. Unpack your bags and get some rest for tomorrow!" The coach hollered from the front before he stepped off the bus, "We're in dorms A and B. Fukurodani will be on the other side of the building, make sure not to be too loud."

 _The other side?_ Akane's heart pounded.

"I'm not going to lose," Oikawa said as he grabbed his bags.

Akane paused, examining his expression, "I know."

The moment they entered the common bedroom, several members of the volleyball team slumped onto the ground, throwing their bags on the floor beside them. Others set up the room, spreading out the mattresses, sheets and pillows.

As their bodies hit the bare mattress Oikawa turned to Akane, eyes of flame, a wry grin on his face. "I knew I'd get you into bed one day." 

Akane could feel the heat growing in her cheeks, trying to suppress her smile, "Took you long enough."

"Alright, guys, keep it PG in here," Makki warned, but the small amused smile that made its way to his face made the warning sound redundant. 

"I'm going to take a shower!" Kindaichi announced, draping a towel over his shoulder. 

It took around an hour for everyone to settle in. 

A smile spread across Akane's face as an idea popped up in her mind, "Guys, let's play a game!"

"Game?" Oikawa's ears perked up.

They sat in a circle. Akane sat in between Oikawa and Iwaizumi, and Makki sat opposite her.

"Oi, Matsukawa, Kindaichi!" Makki called out. Both of them had fallen asleep, snoring quite loudly. He kneeled down next to Matsukawa's bag, rummaging through his belongings.

Iwaizumi narrowed his eyes, "What are you doing?"

Makki put a finger to his lips as he pulled his hand out, revealing 5 big metal flask. He held four up proudly, like a trophy.

"Wh-What?! Makki, you're so wild!" Oikawa gaped. He eyed the flasks and shook them making sure it was full.

It was.

"Alcohol right before a practice game?" Akane asked, in a tone that was a mixture of bewilderment and amusement. The flasks were passed around, one for each of them.

"This really isn't what I meant by pack light..." Iwaizumi sighed, eyeing the flask. 

Makki shrugged, taking a sip. He made a sour face, "It's our last year at school, might as well have fun... And win, of course."

"You get cooler every time I talk to you," Akane grinned, taking a gulp from the flask. Makki held up a peace sign.

Oikawa hesitantly followed, taking gulps after gulps, as did Iwaizumi.

 _Ulch, gross._ Her throat burned.

Now it was important to note that drinking was not a commodity for any of the four - which very clearly explained Makki toppling over on top of Iwaizumi, who toppled onto Akane, who toppled onto Oikawa, like a line of dominos. Then they would all jolt up, like nothing happened and engage in a round of debates.

"Okay, but is cereal soup or not?" Akane slurred on her words.

"No! Soup is cold. Milk is warm," Iwaizumi said.

Makki stared at him blankly, "Isn't it the other way around? Soup is warm, milk is cold."

"That's what I said!"

"Is it?" Makki pondered, trying to recall. 

Oikawa snickered. He ested his head on Akane's lap, "You guys have the memory of a goldfish."

"Hey! Goldfishes have good memory, you know!"

"At least goldfishes would know that cereal is considered soup!" Oikawa said, waving his hands over dramatically.

Akane gasped, before bursting into a fit of giggles, "Cereal is not soup, how could you say that?"

"Cereal is put in milk, which is liquid! Liquid can be heated or cooled, and soup is liquid, therefore cereal is soup!" Oikawa reasoned.

Akane hiccuped before taking another sip of the foul smelling liquid, "No, that's like saying water is wet."

"What?!" Oikawa cried out, half laughing, "That has nothing to do with anything!"

"Yes it does, I think that's a super cool metaphor," Iwaizumi butted in.

"Oh... I understand you. Like... that saying... 'the sky is blue'," Makki nodded thoughtfully.

"What are you guys talking about?" Akane laughed uncontrollably. She looked at Oikawa, still on her lap, and he was now twiddling with her fingers, mumbling about the curvature and their slenderness.

"Oh, I've got a question for you guys!" She clapped her hands together. They all turned to look at her expectantly, and she spoke, "You have a chance to go to your dream world, but you need to sacrifice something you hold dear. Where would you go and what would you give for it?"

"Huh?" Makki turned to Iwaizumi, who closed his eyes and started to think.

"Don't worry. Once you're around Akane enough, you'll get used to these kinds of questions," Iwaizumi said.

"Yeah, we've been getting questions like these since we were kids," Oikawa chuckled, "My answer would probably be ..." His eyes flickered over to hers just for a split second before having a change of mind.

"Volleyball?" Iwaizumi guessed, "The existence of milk buns?" 

"No!"

Makki looked down at his pants, eyebrows scrunching and his imagination running into the wrong direction.

Akane giggled, "Okay, my answer would be... You guys," she paused, "Because in my dream world, you'll all be there anyways." She started to laugh again, "That was so cringe. Sorry."

Oikawa just wanted to scoop her up and pull her into a hug. This somehow felt like a snapshot out of time. He could see her silver hair blowing in the winter breeze, her youthful face turned towards the sun. In a short sleeved shirt in the middle of the coldest day, she'd still smile, like the joy of life within her cannot be tamed. 

"It wasn't," he murmurs with a tiny sigh. 

"Wait, real talk," Iwaizumi said, turning all focus on him, "What's Fukurodani like? You've seen them play before, right?"

Akane thought it over, doing hand gestures to above her head, "So Kotaro is the Ace of Fukurodani, he has spiky white grey hair with black streaks. We used to practice straight shots together. Ah, I really miss him ... Oh, and of course an impressive volleyball player. They don't call him one of the Top 5 Aces for nothing. Oh, we actually started playing volleyball toge-"

"What about the other members? Anyone we should look out for?" Makki asked. He was swaying back and forth quite a fair bit.

"Hm... Kotaro is most in sync with Keiji, the setter. According to him, Kotaro has precisely 37 weaknesses..." Akane paused, taking a peek at Oikawa. He had his eyes closed but she knew he was listening.

"Long story short, they're a powerhouse school and we might have a bit of a hard time tomorrow!" 

"Oi! Of course we are with that mentality. We'll be fine. We're a powerhouse school too, you know," Iwaizumi said.

"Okay, okay, I'm sleepy," Akane suddenly said, scrambling to get herself on her feet, "I'm turning off the light in 3, 2,-"

_Click._

There was rustling from the sheets and within 5 minutes, loud snores could be heard echoing off the walls. Akane made her way to the corner of the room, further away from everyone else.

She lied restless, tossing and turning before prodding Oikawa's back with her foot.

"Are you awake?" She whispered.

No answer.

She couldn't help but wonder how Oikawa was going to react when he saw Akaashi for the first time. She's seen the way his face scrunches up at the mention of 'Fukurodani', or whenever he clicked the search button on Instagram and the like. 

To her surprise, he grunted and turned to face her. He got up momentarily to fix his pillow before collapsing onto the mattress again with an exhausted sigh.

"Akane-chan?"

"Hmm?"

There was a long pause.

"...I'm sorry," he mumbled. 

"What? ... For what?"

He took a deep breath, resenting himself for only being able to bring this up when he was (very slightly) drunk. He enunciated each word slowly, "5 years ago, I made you cry. I ...was... sort of a dick. You may have forgotten, or I may be 5 years too late, but I'm sorry."

 _I've liked you 5 years ago, and I'll like you for at least 5 more,_ he wanted to say, and to his surprise he had managed to stop himself. 

_I like you so much, fuck._

"I forgive you," he heard her whisper. 

He smiled at the sound of that. He expected feeling lighter as if some sort of weight has been lifted off his chest - but no. It lingered.

"Why do I feel like this?" He thought out loud.

_Stupid. Why'd you do that?_

"Like what?" Akane asked.

"Like I've just been pushed off a high diving board, or maybe cliff diving."

"Interesting," she murmured, "Do elaborate."

"Like ... There's this panic in my chest, sort of like ... when you know you're about to take a big exam but you didn't study the night before, and there's somersaults in my stomach," he tried to explain. 

Oikawa couldn't put his finger on it, but it felt somewhat uncomfortable, especially in his chest - like 20 different emotions all compressed into one.

"And it's worse when I'm around you," he added, with a laugh.

Akane joined in his laugh, there was a tender look in his eyes, "Correct me if I'm wrong, but it sounds like you're in love."

"No," he uttered, not missing a beat, "That can't be right."

_Could it?_

"Okay... Um, tell me more about this feeling then."

Akane felt her stomach drop. _Had she just made a ridiculous assumption?_

"...Like there's a bunch of spark plugs in my abdomen... I feel like I might hurl."

It wasn't getting better. He felt his thoughts accelerating in his head.

"Toru... I'm going to call someone,"" Akane sat upright in a flash.

"No, don't," he grabbed her arm. He felt his chest tighten and he tugged on her arm.

"Wait, okay, okay, breathe. Breathe with me," she tried taking deep breaths, hopeful he would follow lead, but his eyes were glazed and he had a look that didn't belong on his face.

"Panic attack," Akane breathed out, the realisation finally hitting her, "Toru, you're having a panic attack."

"What, but, no, it didn't, that's not... right... I've never...," he was breathing all wrong, beginning to gasp like there's not enough oxygen in the air. 

Her eyes dart around the room, desperate for someone to wake up, something to help him calm down. 

"Shit. Shit, shit, shit," she muttered. 

She held his face in her hands, her thumb stroking his cheek, "Okay, okay. Focus. Focus on me. Look at me. You're in control. Toru, look at me. Please. Look at me."

"I can't. I can't," he gasped out.

_Why? What was this sudden onset?_

Oikawa never had panic attacks when he was younger. Akane thought about distracting him somehow, but regaining composure was something he did best.

_Do something. Come on. Anything._

More than a bit anxious herself by now, she started to panic.

_An idea crawled its way up into her brain. She had to do it. Was there any other choice?_

Then without any hesitance, she leaned forward and kissed him. After a few seconds, she felt his arms wrap around her waist to pull her closer. She started to relax.

She slowly pulled away and looked up at him. The swirls of emotion she saw in his eyes made her gasp softly.

"How?" He asked, still shaken from the experience.

"I... watched this TV show that said kissing makes you hold your breath and help you relax," she answered, looking away sheepishly, "I didn't think it'd actually work but I was running out of ideas."

"Thanks..." He mumbled.

"You're okay."

"Be my girlfriend," he blurted out at the same time.

"What?" 

"What?"

"... Nothing. I'll... think about-"

But before she could ponder about it further, he yanked her to him and covered her mouth with his in a kiss. As their lips crushed together, she felt like she was walking on air. She sat on his lap, her legs clasped around his back loosely. His mouth was warm, the caress of his lips softer than she could have imagined and he inched his hands under her shirt. 

She felt something press up against her inner thigh and she opened her mouth with a low moan. He smirked against her lips, holding down her hips as he-

"What the fuck are you guys doing?"

Akane let out a small squeak before scrambling off Oikawa, sliding underneath the blankets.

_Please don't turn the lights on._

_Oh god, please don't turn the lights on._

_Oh fuck,_ Oikawa froze when he heard footsteps.

He and Akane looked at each other, paralysed with fear like a deer in the headlights. Akane covered her mouth to suppress her giggle.

He swallowed and looked at her in alarm. 

Someone started to snore.

When he was positive everyone else went back to sleep, he whispered, "Fine. Go to prom with me?"

Akane bit her bottom lip, her face still flushed about the events of the last minutes, but she managed to respond, "I'll probably get mauled by your fangirls -"

"Is that a no?"

"It's not a no."

"Come on, imagine how jealous everyone will be."

Akane scrunched up her eyebrows, imagining Oikawa's many, many fans giving her death stares but squealing as they see Oikawa in a proper suit and tie. It would be quite amusing.

"Yes, yes, we get it. You have fanclubs across the countries. The Great King Oikawa Toru."

He leaned closer to her, "I meant how jealous everyone will be when they see _me_ with you. Have you even seen yourself?"

"Oh, I thought you meant..." She trailed off. She felt his hand on her cheek as he put a strand of hair behind her ear. She wondered if he could feel how warm her cheeks were. 

"Besides, a king can't rule without his queen."


	12. fukurodani, ex-school and ex-...

_No way._

_Nope._

_Nope, nope, nope._

Oikawa shook his head disbelievingly as he recalled the events of last night. His gaze flickered to Akane for a split second. She looked as cheery as always, stretching her arms as they prepared for their match. He watched her tap her foot in anticipation, bouncing up and down with delirious excitement.

_No, not the hot and steamy part - Well, okay, yes, that too - and whenever he did, he'd feel his pants getting just a little tighter than they were before ...-_

_Gah, that's not the point._

He had never experienced a panic attack before, nor did he ever want to again. He couldn't help but wonder if it was talking about his feelings that acted as a trigger.

_No. No way._

Yet, he couldn't deny the crazy immense feeling he experiences whenever he thinks about her. It would start off in his chest, then it'd burn, spreading throughout his entire body like a slow riding wave. 

What irked him was that he had never, EVER, had feelings like this before. Not to his ex, nor his ex before that, or the one before that... It made him feel...

_Frustrated? Vulnerable? Irritated? Angry?_

He did not like it one bit.

Oikawa kept his eyes peeled for a certain black haired setter. Their gym was as big as Seijoh's - the unfamiliarity somewhat excites him. 

"Oi," Iwaizumi called out, "Don't you go thinking about beating their setter. There are six people on the court. The team with the better six is stronger, and you know we have an amazing team."

"... You're right," Oikawa nodded. He'd never be over the fact that Iwaizumi could practically read him like a book. 

Well, that's what you get after knowing someone your whole life. 

Oikawa caught Akane's eyes, and she quickly grinned at him, making his heart stutter.

Akane wondered what Oikawa could be thinking so hard about as she scanned his expression. He hadn't spoken to her today. At all. Not even when she said "Morning!" cheerily. Not even when she made a joke about Iwaizumi. He had, and still does to this moment, an odd look in his eyes. 

"AKANE!!!" A loud voice echoed through the entire gymnasium.

As Akane's head snapped towards the voice, a smile grew on its own accord, excitement bubbling up in her chest. She felt giddy when she saw his expression of impish glee, like a small child with an especially large christmas present. He eagerly sprinted towards her.

"KOTARO!!" 

She sprang from her spot, rushing forward to engulf him in a big hug. 

"Who's that?" Oikawa asked Iwaizumi, who shot him an odd look. 

"What do you mean? That's-"

"I'm so excited to see you! We've never played each other in an official match before! I can't believe you got into the boys' team! Oh! Do you want to have dinner together after the game?! Or we could go as a team! Oh right! I saw mum the other day, and she said you were doing well," Bokuto said breathlessly, as if there wasn't enough time in the world. He paused, leaning down to whisper in her ear, "She even said you... met someone?"

He wiggled his eyebrows together.

"I can't believe I'm here. How's dad? How's everything at home? How's school? You better not be failing classes! What about your spikes? Have you been working on them? Oh! I could go for some Yakiniku after the game...." Akane could barely get her words out. Her heart was beating furiously, out of pure excitement. Then it almost stopped when she saw the figures approaching them.

"Akane-san!" greeted some of the members, along with a few 'How have you been?'s and 'It's been a while!'s.

"Hi, Saru! Have you finally surpassed Bokuto yet? How's it going with that girl you told me about? Haruki! Excited to be digging up some solid spikes? Wataru! How's your arm?"

And then she turned to the last boy that came through the door.

"Keiji," she said.

"Akane," he kept his eyes steady, resting on her face like they were home, but just briefly, the sorrow already building.

She saw something flash in his eyes, but the emotion disappeared just as quickly as it appeared.

"Bokuto-san tells me you've been well," he stated, phrasing it in a question-like manner.

"You don't have to be so formal, you know," Akane chuckled, "I-"

But before she could say anything else, she felt a strong presence emerge beside her.

_Oh, crap._

To the public, or anyone who didn't know him well, Oikawa held a lighthearted smile like he's at ease, a big wide grin that made him seem oh-so-charming. 

He had mastered his fake smile, right down to the wrinkles around his eyes sometimes. No one ever questioned him... Except for two people.

Akane held her breath. Most of the time, he had the world hiding behind that smile. It could literally be anything. Anything is possible. _Was he friendly? Was he vexed?_

But this time she could see the clear glint in his eyes as he sized up his opponents, a wry smile twisting his lips. He clapped his hands together, "Right! Let's have a good game, shall we?" 

To her assurance, Iwaizumi had noticed as well, grabbing hold of Oikawa's shoulder - a form of warning. He let go and shook Bokuto's hand, "I look forward to playing with you."

"I look forward to playing with you too," Bokuto repeated. The coaches and managers had gathered, greeting each other as well. A few members jogged off to set up the courts.

Iwaizumi spun towards Akane, who on cue clapped her hands, gaining everyone's attention.

She began, gesturing at the members of Fukurodani, "Everyone, this is Saru, wingspiker, this is Wataru, middle blocker, Haruki, libero, Akinori, wingspiker ... Keiji, setter and ..."

Her voice started to melt away as she debated whether or not to continue. 

_...And ex-boyfriend._

The word alone is enough to make her choke.

_Ugh. Stop it, Akane. Stop._

Akaashi gave her a weary smile. She forced a tight lipped smile and nodded, all the while looking at the floor. A few glances were thrown around the room. Iwaizumi's eyes darted towards Oikawa, but he showed no response.

Akane cleared her throat, capturing everyone's attention again, 

"Last but definitely not least, this is the Ace, otherwise known as my idiot twin brother, Kotaro -"

In an instant Oikawa's eyes locked on hers as shock flashed across his features and he stumbled back a step. Actually stumbled.

"What-" She began.

"What?" He said, dumbfounded.

"... What?" 

"Wait... _WHAT?!_ " 

To say he was choked would be an understatement, he was absolutely thunderstruck. He placed a hand over his mouth, taken back, he could only stare.

"...I actually see the resemblance... Especially your hair," Makki observed.

Kindaichi agreed, "Ah, right, Bokuto-san's one of the top three Aces isn't he?" 

Bokuto cleared his throat and let out a low chuckle. He announced proudly, "Indeed I am! I like you already! Er- What's your name again?"

Akane rolled her eyes playfully as she let them get acquainted. She turned back to Oikawa, who was still gawking.

"WHAT?! His last name -" 

"About that... It might sound really cynical, but we always suspected that our parents would eventually..." Akane trailed off, her gaze dropping on the floor, "Eventually drift apart. And," She cleared her throat, "Bokuto Akane just sounds weird, doesn't it?" 

Bokuto scrunched up his face, "So weird."

"Yeah... I've always taken after my mother's name - Nishikawa."

"WHAT?! How did I not know?!" Oikawa yelled disbelievingly, "Akane-chan, why didn't you tell me?" His eyes seemed to be searching for answers, perhaps recalling his memories to catch something he's missed. "Wait, Iwa-chan, you're not reacting to this... Why are you not reacting? Did you know too?!"

"Well, yeah ... the better question is, how did you _not_ know?" Iwaizumi looked baffled. 

Oikawa was muttering to himself now. 

_They were literally talking about this guy yesterday. He had also known Nishikawa Akane for 8 years - so how? How in god's name could he have absolutely no idea who Bokuto Kotaro was?_

Oikawa could vaguely remember her mentioning her brother a couple of times during their younger years. He had never thought in a million years that it would the Ace of Fukurodani.

_Now it wouldn't just be a face off against Akaashi Keiji the setter, but would he have to prove he was good enough to the Ace as well?_

He frowned. He never had to do anything like this in his previous relationships before. Acceptance and approval were two things that were almost always given to him.

Oikawa snapped back into reality as he felt Bokuto's eyes land on him scrutinizingly. He grinned, "You guys are Oikawa and Iwaizumi, right? I've heard about you guys," He paused, and his smile faded slightly, "You better be treating my sister right. "

"Bokuto-san, enough with the threats," Akaashi piped in. Bokuto grunted, puffing up his cheeks stubbornly before muttering out a defeated ' _fiiine_ '.

After the initial moments of shock, Oikawa regained his composure. His gaze fell on Akaashi and Akane talking amongst themselves, a fond smile on her face. When she caught him staring, she arched an eyebrow curiously.

When he finally averted his gaze, he turned his back, his smile fell lifeless.

Oikawa's chest ached when he saw her smile. He wanted it to be directed towards him. For him. Because of him.

Damn it, Akaashi Keiji's smile was so genuine it made Oikawa want to march over there and punch him.

He reluctantly let the idea slip away from his mind once he saw Iwaizumi's second warning glare. 

"Oh right, these are my team mates," Akane started again with a smile on her face. She motioned towards the regulars of Seijoh one-by-one, ".... And last but not least, as already been introduced by Kotaro, this is Iwa-kun, Ace, and Toru, setter and captain."

At their names, Bokuto eyed them again, repeating his last message non-verbally.

"These are your childhood friends right? The ones you played volleyball with?" Akaashi asked Akane, who nodded.

"Nice to meet you guys. I've heard a lot," Akaashi said towards the two players.

Oikawa and Iwaizumi turned towards Akane, their eyes questioning that statement.

 _'What have you been saying about us?'_ , their eyes seemed to be asking.

"Yeah they are," Akane grinned, "Iwa-kun's a really fast learner, even from the start, we're really good friends, and Toru's a natural setter. He's also my-"

"Boyfriend."

The words leapt out of Oikawa's throat before he could stop them. 

_Oh fuck._

He flashed her one of his infamous smile, except he was sure it looked more like a grimace this time.

"I'm sorry, _WHAT_??!" Iwaizumi yelled.

"Huh?" Matsugawa sounded.

Makki held back a snort, "Oh, man, I should grab some popcorn."

Akane's expression went from baffled, to discomposed, and then her eyes flicked over to Akaashi, who had an unreadable expression on his face, then to Bokuto, who looked just a tad bemused, and then they landed onto Oikawa, and it took him less than half a second to figure out he was in deep trouble.


	13. setters

"Okay, if I'm reading him correctly, the next spike we block will put Kotaro into his emo mode," Akane had said earlier.

They weren't too far behind - only two points. Everyone's game was a bit off today - Oikawa, for one, hadn't been able to tear his eyes off the opponent's setter, Iwaizumi, of course, with his sharp vision, had noticed, and Akane was boiling with embarrassment and fury, making her lose her composure. She felt like she was in a whirlpool of indecision, her brain short circuiting as it overloaded itself.

Fukurodani as well, from the looks of it, specifically their Ace and setter were experiencing a similar mixture of emotions, but perhaps to a lesser extent.

It was probably the most difficult three sets Aoba Johsai had ever been in. 

Akane watched as Akaashi set up a toss to Bokuto, examining his movements carefully as he leapt into the air like a firecracker.

"Now!" she shouted. She jumped, arms outstretched, with Iwaizumi and Oikawa mimicking her movements.

_Smack!_

Hitting the palm of Iwaizumi's hands, the ball dropped down to the other side of the net with a satisfying _thump_.

"Shit," Iwaizumi cursed under his breath, muttering about how powerful that spike was.

"Wait.... how do I do straight spikes again...?" Bokuto mumbled from the other side of the net. 

Akane gasped, "There it is!" She exchanged a look with Akaashi. They both were thinking the same thing - Bokuto's weakness #37. When he becomes too fixated on one thing, there are occasions where he totally forgets how to do anything else ...

-

They had ultimately lost, but no one could deny they had put up a great fight. 

This irked Oikawa especially. If he couldn't beat them, _how could he ever beat that bastard Ushiwaka? How could he ever go to Nationals with her?_

 _And, the million dollar question, how the hell did he not know who Akane's brother was?_ He couldn't bring himself to believe it.

In stark contrast, it greatly enthused Akane, who was continuously paying compliments to the members of Fukurodani and making dinner plans with her brother. She had a look of longing in her eyes as she talked to her ex-team mates.

Akane felt someone tap her on the shoulder, "Can we talk?"

Worry pooled in her stomach, "Sure." She followed Akaashi out of the gym.

"What's up?" She smiled softly.

He let out a slow controlled breath, "I'm glad to see you're doing well."

"Me too."

"I've been thinking about you," he said softly.

"So about Toru," she said at the same time. Then she added, "... Me too."

Akane fiddled with her thumbs . She could feel her pulse pounding in her temples.

"I'm going to cut to the chase," he informed, "I'm really happy for you. As long as you're happy, so am I."

_Straight to the point as usual._

She was unsure what came over her, but she felt tears brimming in her eyes. Her heart ached. She wasn't sure what to say.

It took her down a familiar path of the past. Moments before she left Tokyo. The forced smile he had on his face as he said, _"It's not the end for us, just a 'to be continued'"._

"I want you to be happy too," she whispered. She couldn't meet his eyes. Instead, she kept her eyes on the horizon and --

"I know. I'm happy if you're happy," he repeated. He took a deep breath, finding it hard to admit, "He's a very talented setter, anyone can see that. I don't know how I feel about you moving on already, especially to a more polished and more outgoing version of me, but ..." 

When he trailed off, Akane finally met his eyes, and she could see questions after questions swimming around, and that it was taking everything he had to hold them back.

And two of the most imminent ones had stood out. His expression alone communicated in ways his words didn't.

_1\. Why him?_

_2\. Are you still in love with me?_

She couldn't answer the first. Not when she herself didn't really know. It's always been like that. Even from the moment she met him on the snow-piled volleyball court. 

The second was a little easier. She cared about him deeply, so yes. She loved him. Deeply. But there was a difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

"I'm not going to lose to him," Akaashi said. 

"I know," Akane replied. She wrapped her arms around him, feeling his arms pulling her close. 

There were so many things she wanted to say. So many things she wanted tell him. But the words had glued themselves to her throat, and there were too many knots in her stomach she couldn't untie.

_Of course I still love you._

_I care about you._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm sorry._

_I'm so sorry._

Instead, she just squeezed him tighter, taking in breaths and reminiscing about the good memories they created in the past.

When they pulled apart, he had looked like he was about to say something. 

But he had closed his mouth, then looked at his shoes before glancing back up to catch her eye. _My heart aches_ , he wanted to say.

He would describe his heartache as like a the music of a great orchestra. At times it was quiet and allowed him to function, at other times the violins would play and he would be sad, then at other times it would rise to a crescendo and the anger would burst from his chest in a vicious shout of anguish. Right now, there was a flute playing and he was able to feel fondness, and that was enough for him right now.

_You're everywhere, except here, and it hurts._

"I think I'll go now," was all he could say.

_And I guess this is the end now._

"Okay."

It wasn't long before Bokuto showed up by her side, his eyes a kind of gentle concern. He's always been the biggest supporter of Akane and Akaashi's relationship, and Akane was certain that this version of their ending hurt him the same way it hurt them. Ever since he was young, Bokuto attracted energy and positivity wherever he went. Akane used to think that it was no coincidence that 'brother' and 'bother' was one letter apart. 

When they were younger, he would claim the last piece of melon bread, or the last slice of pie because "he was older by 20 seconds". His grin would widen as his sister's temper would unravel. Yet despite their little quarrels, he would shield her the best he could when their parents fought, and he would her shelter when the storm winds rose to fever pitch. Always easy with honest advice, but carefully phrased not to cause harm. He'd never just been her twin brother, but a good friend to her, he'd been one of the rocks in her life. An anchor point.

Now, he wasn't much different. He had just grown more mature, more understanding, more able. He listened to her as she stifled back her tears, cracking a light joke and shoots her a grin that melted her, taking her back to when they were kids. 

-

Oikawa could hear everything they were saying. He couldn't see the look on their faces from the wall he was leaning on, but the tone of their voices gave it away.

"I think I'll go now." He heard.

"Okay."

This was followed by a set of footsteps nearing him. Oikawa pressed himself off the wall, ready to head back into the gymnasium when he felt a hand on his shoulder.

His head snapped back, coming face to face with the setter of Fukurodani.

This guy was not bad looking. He was genuinely a good looking guy. He does not fake his smiles. He was not a bad setter. Not a genius, but he had potential. There was undeniable emptiness in his eyes though, and Oikawa wondered the depths of Akane and Akaashi's relationship. _Maybe he could never be good enough for her? Especially after that screw up._

Akaashi clenched his jaw, and inhaled sharply. He looked like he was having an intense argument in his head.

"I think, to an extent, you know her better than I do, so I won't go on about what a good person she is," he started. Akaashi had always been very blunt in many situations, but he found this particular moment to be one of the most difficult, "I don't mean, and I don't want to sound condescending. That's not my intention. What you and Akane have is none of my business. But please, treat her well." 

Oikawa didn't know how to respond. He just managed to choke out, "I know."

Everything he felt was scaring him, but he would never admit it like this. He was fumbling with the enormity of his affection - he never used to have trouble expressing his feelings, never used to even worry about feelings as intense as this, never used to think he would feel this way towards someone - but hell, it gave him a panic attack. But perhaps, deep down he's always known, from the moment he met her. He just knew. It was the first, and perhaps last time he would look at someone and see forever.


	14. then break me

"I still don't understand why you said that. What are you trying to prove?"

"I still don't understand why you didn't tell me that your brother is the Ace of Fukurodani."

"I told you! It never came up, you never asked, and I was fine with that. It's not a big deal, okay."

There was no logic to the argument. It started out with Oikawa's attempt at a light-hearted conversation starter, which was, "Which fruit would win if they were alive and could fight?"

Despite all the heavy thoughts swimming in her head, Akane had chuckled half-heartedly and replied, "Durians."

And he had responded, "I see your durian, and raise you one pineapple."

"No way," she laughed, "Have you seen a durian? Spiky armor shell? CHeck. Incredible noxious fumes? Check. Fall from incredible heights? Check."

"Well, pineapples are prickly too. They have enzyme that breaks down meat, like you know the tingly feeling in your mouth when you eat it? It's literally eating you as you eat it."

"Yeah, but I don't think durians would go down without a fight. Have you seen the news where students were evacuated because someone cracked open a durian in the library?" 

"Well, okay, what about coconuts then?"

Actually, scratch that. This wasn't the argument. 

The topic that came after was "If Matsu and Makki had a wedding on the exact same day, at the exact same time, but 7 hours away from each other, who's would you go to?"

"Makki, I think, I'm a lot closer to him," Akane replied. She wasn't sure why Oikawa was stalling so much. 

"Okay, what about if it was your brother and Iwa-chan?"

"Huh?!"

This wasn't it either.

A small, yet slightly uncertain smile had crept onto her face when he decided to entwine their fingers together. 

That, too, wasn't it.

It was what came after that triggered Akane's temper.

High pitched screams that awaited them before they arrived at her house.

"What the fu-"

High school girls were rushing towards them, pushing to get ahead of each other, shoving one another to the ground. They look like they were being jangled by invisible strings from above, only their puppeteer was drunk. 

They surrounded Oikawa with adoration. He looked taken back just for a split second, before distributing his attention politely. He let go of her hand. She frowned. 

_Of course. He was used to this._

Akane watched open-mouthed, her eyebrows arched, as a brunette girl handed him a letter. Her face was red as she squealed, "Oikawa-san, I wrote this for you!"

Oikawa had put on another one of his smiles, but this time Akane wasn't sure if he was holding back because she was there, or because he had never met any of these girls before.

"For me, you are more beautiful than the winter sun above the snow ...." Oikawa read out loud. He scratched the back of his head, unsure of how to respond. He flashed them a smile instead, and their squeals amplified tenfold.

Akane couldn't help but snort, "Oh, lovely. Just lovely." 

"Who's this?" The girl shot her Akane death glare, then jabbed her finger at her scornfully.

Oikawa hesitated, "This is Akane-chan, my childhood friend."

Akane looked at him, half expecting him to continue and call her his girlfriend.

Just like he did back in the courts.

But no, he had gone back to reading their overly perfumed letters and taste-testing their carefully decorated cookies. She felt her stomach drop, then she drew in a deep breath.

Clenching her jaw, she put on the most ingenuine smile she could muster, "Yeah. We're just friends."

"Oh, Akane-chan, you can go on withou-" He stopped. The laughter evaporated from his eyes when he saw that hers were rigid and cold.

When Oikawa managed to weave through the crowd of girls and set a finger on her shoulder, she swung around and snapped, "Go away."

-

When they reached her bedroom, they sat knee deep in silence.The faucet dripped into the sink, each one reverberating around the room like a cymbal, yet none of the blinked or moved to stop it. Outside, there was no traffic or bird song, by now it must be midnight - the time in which today becomes tomorrow. 

Akane glanced to her bedside frame, locking her eyes on the two framed pictures she perched up not long ago. The one with Oikawa, Iwaizumi and herself when they were eleven, and a picture of her Fukurodani volleyball team.

She reverently rubbed her fingers along the silken mattress. He wasn't speaking, what is there to say?

_Say sorry._

_Say sorry now._

_Say sorry for walking off like that._

"I'm not apologizing," she said instead through gritted teeth.

He let out an exasperated sigh, "Then I will. I'm sorry." 

"Oh, okay-"

"I'm sorry that I didn't call you my girlfriend back there," he said, looking at her for a response. 

She knitted her eyebrows together, "Not 'sorry for calling you my girlfriend even when you said you needed time to think about it.'?"

"Yeah, that too."

Silence.

"At least you could've been consistent," she said, still not meeting his gaze. 

"With?" He asked.

"You could've at least called me your girlfriend back there, you know, with the fan girls."

"And I apologised for that," he protested, "And I thought you were angry because I called you that in the first place?"

"Well, yeah, but if you were going to do it, at least be consistent," she could tell from the flow of their conversation, it had a high possibility of going around and around in circles, "Why did you do it anyways? I said I'd think about it."

Oikawa paused before responding, thinking over what he could possibly say.

_'Because I was jealous?_

_'Because I like you so much? Because I.... love you?'_

_'Because he seemed like a genuine guy and I didn't want to lose you?'?_

"I don't know," he answered, "Maybe because we were making out the night before, and I thought you liked me back?"

Her eyes narrowed, "I do! I just said I needed more time."

"I- Time? I've waited 5 years for you!" His voice had an edge to it, and it came out sharper than he intended.

"As if you have!" She scoffed, "As if you haven't had any other girlfriends in that time, and as if you haven't loved any of them!" 

_'What is love anyways?',_ he thought.

He shook his head and shrugged lightly, "I've never loved any of them."

"You told me you were with one for almost two years. As. If."

"I didn't love her," Oikawa uttered this with total certainty.

"Did she love you?"

"Ah, well... Yes. A lot."

_'A cacophony of euphoric bliss and ecstatical terror in the form of panic attacks? No thanks.'_

"So what? You were leading her on?" 

"No! I just thought the feeling of love would come to me eventually. It didn't. I didn't get into anymore relationships after that."

"So why are you trying to get in one with me now? You're saying you see yourself falling in love with me?"

She felt her ears getting hot as she asked.

The answer was at his throat, but he was too afraid to admit it.

"Do you think you see yourself falling in love with _me_?" He asked. 

"Yes," she choked out.

_'Maybe I'm already in love with you?'_

He took a deep breath, "What's holding you back from answering my question? Why do you need more time for?"

"Answer my question first, I just answered yours," she replied coldly.

 _'Yes',_ he wanted to say.

"Fuck, I don't know! Why can't you just -"

"Because I said I'll think about it! I need to sort some things out, okay?!" She snapped.

"What things?"

She sighed, evading his question, "Toru, why do you like me?"

_'Do you like the image of me you had 5 years ago?'_

_'Was it because I'm your first crush?'_

_'Was it because I taught you volleyball?'_

_'Was it because I'm different from your fan girls? In a way that I'm not a fan girl?'_

_'Was it because you were jealous?'_

_'Are you just trying to collect hearts? ... My heart, in particular?'_

"What do you mean why?"

"I just need to know your reasons. I need to know they're not... For lack of good vocabulary, I guess... I need to know they're not corrupt."

"Corrupt? What does that even mean?"

"I-I don't know... You do realise that you have girls chasing after you left and right? And-"

"If that's what you're worried about, you don't have to!"

"Just like I didn't have to worry about being your girlfriend one minute, and then suddenly not being your girlfriend the next when we're in front of those girls?" 

"I thought you were angry because I called you that!"

"You could've been consistent! I just feel like you're not ready to get into a relationship. You're used to putting yourself up on a pedestal, and I don't blame you! You're the Captain of the volleyball team, you're outstanding with academics, and you literally have a fan club in your name. That's fine. I just don't think you're - ... I don't know, okay. I don't know." 

"So you're jealous...?"

"No!"

"You just... I hear you cycle through girls. Volleyball always comes first - which I have no problem with - because it does too, for me, most times. The thing is, you can't stand it the other way around.. Like when they need to study for a test tomorrow, or something, you pout and pick up a new girl. Am I wrong?"

Oikawa's mind was spinning. _Why was she questioning his feelings for her?_ He could list a hundred reasons on the spot if he wanted to. He couldn't define 'love', but if he had to describe it, it would be this tremendous feeling he had towards her. But her hesitation had fueled his. 

Then she added, "Do you think... you're capable of being in love?"

His mind flowed with memories of his panic attack that night, and he tensed up.

Akane wasn't sure what went through Oikawa's mind at that exact point, but their eyes finally met, and his sharp brown eyes had gone stormy with indifference. He stared hard at her with the hurricane force in his all seeing brown eyes.

"You know what," he started, averting his gaze to the ground, "Don't fall in love with people like me."

"What?" She exclaimed incredulously. She shifted closer to him and considered taking his hand in hers. She didn't. 

"Just don't. I'll take you to museums, to parks and monuments, and kiss you in every beautiful place, so that you can never go back to them without tasting me like blood in your mouth. I will destroy you in the most beautiful way possible. And when I leave you'll understand why storms are named after people."

" _When_ you leave?" 

He ran his fingers through his hair, and slumped down on the bed. A part of him wanted to take it back.

"Just don't be too nice to me."

_I know I'll fall in love with you. Harder and harder._

_Maybe I already am._

"And don't ... say anything you don't mean, I guess."

_I know I'll overthink._

"Just... Leave me alone."

_I need you. Fuck, I love you. Why can't I just say it?_

"Well, I mean, don't ... Leave me alone... But you get what I mean..."

Her face fell. She could see his hesitation now. Oikawa was never the type to back away from anything, but he has always been terrible with translating his feelings into words, or actions, or both. He was terrible when he was fourteen, and he was still terrible now. 

"I don't, really."

Her sigh was of a softly deflating; it was as if a tension had lifted yet left her with a melancholy instead of relief. She felt prickling in her eyes. 

He sat back up and held his breath. He regretted making her cry as soon as those words leapt off his lips. Each wave was icy cold and it sent shivers down his spine. Akaashi's words sharpened in Oikawa's mouth, seizing his gums. They're all he could taste now.

There was of course a small voice quietly nagging at the back of his mind, reminding him that he won't feel this way tomorrow and that his actions will have repercussions, and perhaps ones of great severity. 

Akane closed her eyes and drew in long, deep breaths. She knew that when tension was high, she should inject love instead of anger, reach out instead of pulling back. Her eyes fluttered open, revealing icy blues that were framed with thick long lashes. It pierced right through those cold eyes of his.

"Okay. I hear you. I hear you loud and clear," she started. She thought back of the previous night. It felt so right. It felt like she was home. 

She pushed herself onto the bed and tilted her body so that she was facing him. Her face creased and her fists were closed so tight she was afraid she might lose circulation. Her eyes glimmered with tears, threatening to spill. 

"I feel like with love..." She paused, forcing herself not to break eye contact. 

"It's hard... to watch people make a game out of love. It's like everyone's playing checkers with their scars and saying "checkmate" whenever they get out without a broken heart."

He swallowed, his eyes urging her to continue. As he watched her shake with grief, tears flowing unchecked, it felt like there was part of him breaking too.

She took a deep breath and steadied herself as she used her sleeves to dry her eyes. She was smiling a little, a smile with a twist to it, like the smile of a child who is determined not to weep.

"So just to be clear," she spoke, her bottom lip trembling, "If you really think you'll break my heart... Then I don't want to get out without a broken heart. I intend to leave this life to shattered, there better be a thousand separate heavens for all my separate parts."


	15. best friend

Akane leaned against the rooftop railing, wind blowing in her hair, eyes closed as she breathed in the clean breeze. Iwaizumi was busy stuffing his face with his onigiri, claiming he needed to gain more muscle before the big tournament. 

"So?" He asked, mouth full of rice, "What's up? Is Oikawa late or something?"

Akane opened her eyes lazily, fixating on the clouds above, "No. Can't I spend quality time with my best friend?"

"I don't mind that," Iwaizumi shrugged, "How'd you find our maths test, by the way? The first question threw me off my game." 

"Oh, hm. I thought it was alright. Question 12 was pretty bad for me."

Iwaizumi gave her a long, long look before putting down his food, "Okay. What's going on?"

"Ugh. Curse you and your sharp eyes," she grumbled, sitting down in front of him. She knew she could always count on him to give her sage advice. But where to start?

"Okay... So it is about Oikawa. What'd he do this time?" 

Akane glared, "Wait, how-"

"Oh, come on. You two have had it intense from the moment you met," he rolled his eyes.

"What?!" 

"Intense, you know. Like, whenever you're together. May it be on good or bad terms. It's just always intense. And plus, whenever you're brought up in a conversation, he tries to talk about you nonchalantly. Thing is, he doesn't do a very good job of it."

That made her chuckle, "How so? What does he say?"

"Hm, you know, ... stuff."

"Oh come on! Give me a little bit more," Akane punched his arm playfully, scooting over closer, "Please!"

"Fine... All I can tell you is that he obviously likes you. I think you'd know that by now, judging from what you guys did during *cough* our stay *cough* in *cough* Tokyo *cough*".

Akane felt her cheeks go a thousand shades of crimson, "W-W-Wh-What are you talking about? It could've been Makki and Matsugawa!"

Iwaizumi's face twisted with a look of disgust, and he looked like he was about to puke, "Oh, why. Why. I can't get the thought out of my head now. Why..."

"On a more serious note... Have you ever loved anyone before?"

He appeared to be in thought, mumbling a few names before responding, "No."

"Oh. Well, have you ever felt like ... a potential love for someone? Like, you don't actually love them and you know you don't, but you know you could. You realise that you could easily fall in love with them? And you like them a lot. Like, you really do. You think about them often, but you don't love them? ... But you could?"

His gaze lingered on her for just a second too long before he spoke, "I guess so. Yeah. I have."

"What stopped you from loving them?"

"It just wasn't ideal."

"Do I know her? What's she like?" 

"You do. Uh... It's a bit hard to describe. She's sort of an enigma."

"Huh. Is her personality... anything like Toru's?"

Iwaizumi didn't need to think about this question, "Actually, yeah. Alright spill. What is it?"

"Okay so. Say this mystery girl... um... Let's say the circumstances have changed... And y-you love her. What if it turns out really bad? Like extraordinarily terrible? Like-"

"'Okay so. Say I love Oikawa. What if it turns out really bad? Like extraordinarily terrible? Like it isn't what you expect at all and it gets worse and worse?' - That's what you mean right?" He cut her off, raising a brow. 

She let out the breath she didn't realise she was holding, "Fine. Yes."

"What are you scared of?" 

She inhaled sharply and started, "I don't know... I guess I think that when you love someone, you start to let a lot of things slide. Like not confirming plans until the last minute or just to get out of it. Or being with others and not you. Or not caring about your life. But things are brushed off simply because of that... that seemingly unbreakable connection. Nothing's brought up until it gets real bad, you know?" 

"Yeah, I'm with you so far. After that, you know you're screwed, right? No one wants to deal with that kind of thing?"

"Exactly! It'll just be 'oh yes, that happened' and 'oh yes, don't worry about it', or maybe 'oh yes, i was wrong but it won't happen again, i promise!' but they might just be empty promises with no results. So when the problems keep happening, you'll think 'they're working on it, just be patient', and it gets worse and worse before you know it, you'll ...." She stopped, fiddling with her thumbs.

_End up just like my parents._

"I'm not going to tell you 'you're never going to feel that way' because in all honesty, I can't predict future. I can get a good read on both of you, but I can't predict people. He's still a bit immature for a high schooler, but I've never seen him the way he is when you're around."

"And that's ...?"

Iwaizumi paused, "Happy. He's always happy. I told you before. He's genuinely happy. It's a bit scary how genuine he is, actually. It's like he's a completely different person."

_But what if things get worse and worse, and before you know it, you'll be broken?_

_And once you're broken, there's just no way out. No way for anyone to help you. You're drowning in the middle of the ocean and there are no boats or lifelines, and it feels like everything that could've ever made you happy starts depressing you more and tries to push you under the waves and the more you keep fighting back the more waves are made and are used to drown you more but you don't want to stay afloat anymore because it's too much so you let yourself be pushed, then -_

_".._. Man, he used to cycle through girls so fast, I couldn't even remember their names ..."

_Then one little thing happens that seems to pull you out but all it has done is get you to the surface and until you stop looking up at the clouds you don't realise that you're still..._

_... Drowning?_

Then there was a loud clap of hands just millimeters in front of her face. She jumped back in surprise. Her eyes refocused on the boy in front of her, who looked slightly concerned.

"Don't overthink."

"Okay."

"Alright. I can tell you six things," Iwaizumi held up six fingers.

Akane arched a brow, her lips curling into a curious smile, "Alright. Shoot."

"One, sometimes you need to be patient, but sometimes you need to knock some sense into him because he's gets too caught up in one thing too easily. Two, Akane, come on. You're one of the most important people in his life. I don't know if it's love, but if it is, then he's loved you ever since he's met you. You and I know he's stubborn, so if he ever does say something cheesy like that, make sure to record it so I can make fun of him."

Akane laughed, "Okay. Continue."

"Three, someone can make you the saddest and happiest person in the world, but remember it's always courageous to walk away from something which no longer makes you happy nor makes you grow better as a person. But no relationship is without faults. Like volleyball, no team is without faults, but sometimes when someone can only give 20%, you'll give 80%. When you can only give 20%, they'll give 80%. You grow together."

"Fourth?"

"Fourth. Communication. Be honest. Again, he's stubborn but if you've put up with him this long, you can put up with him for years and years to come."

"Fifth?"

"Fifth. You are not your parents. Don't compare."

That caught her by surprise. _How did he..._

"L-Lastly?"

"Fifth. He feels the exact same way you do. That's all I can tell you. And no, he didn't tell me. As I said, he doesn't do a very good job at being nonchalant," Iwaizumi sighed, "Here. i have something to show you." He took out his phone and started scrolling vigorously, until finally his eyes lit up at the sight of something. 

"What is it?" Akane queried.

He handed her a phone, and Akane squinted her eyes to see the image. It looked like a picture of an overly folded piece of paper, with small yet messy handwriting scrawled all over.

"Our teacher was teaching us how to write. Well, how to describe people. And we had to say it in front of the whole class," He explained, "It was pretty embarrassing. This is Oikawa's."

"Oh?" This piqued her interest. She zoomed in onto the photo before reading -

_My new friend smells like peaches. I get this urge to sit closer to her just to take in the aroma but it's not polite. Her hair is almost silver, only showing hints of off-white when she passes by the window. Her eyes are pale, blue, but so watery you'd almost expect to see them on someone albino. But she's not. Her laugh is so infectious I think the teacher punishes her for even a giggle rather than have the whole class snickering into their algebra. Her voice is deeper than girls usually have, not boyish, but a semi-octave lower than is usual. I think I love her a little too much, but so much as to call it a crush. It's just that when she's near I feel her gravitational pull and I can't help but spin into orbit._

"...He left out the last two sentences. Said he didn't want people to make fun of him for it. Don't tell him, but I thought it was pretty damn poetic. Who knew he could come up with something like that."

Akane could just imagine a loose grin on young Oikawa Toru's face, blushing ever so slightly as he read aloud and shrugging the words off like they didn't mean a great deal to him. She held a hand over her mouth, eyes glimmering with tears. He had loved her many years ago, and -

The shrill sound of the school bell rang throughout the rooftops, and Akane snapped out of her tunnel vision focus. Iwaizumi's words were still sinking in slowly, and on top of that were the scribbles of letters that belonged to Oikawa. It felt better though, knowing she could trust someone like this wholeheartedly. 

"Oh crap! My onigiri!" Iwaizumi exclaimed, hurrying to finish his lunch he had forgotten. 

"Oh, I'm so sorry! Just shove it in your mouth! You can do it!" Akane encouraged. He looked her at her like she was crazy, but did as he was told. At least he was getting some nutrients in.

As they headed down from the rooftop, she said, "I hope the circumstances change. Between you and the mystery girl." 

She didn't push or ask him about who it was. If he wanted to tell her, he would.

"I hope it doesn't."

And for a moment, she thought he was being sarcastic, but there was something about the way his eyes bored into hers that told her that it was absolute honesty.

"It just... It wouldn't be ideal."

He gave her another look, but she couldn't identify the mixture of feelings swarming around in his eyes. There was something untold in the words he had spoken, but she decided not to push.

They entered the classroom silently.


End file.
